Revealing Truth Today

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Coronavirus: Pestilence, Prophecy, and a Philanthropist


Preface: Although this is a lengthy read, I wanted to cover various angles of the pandemic we find ourselves in. It is not fair to bring people’s names and/or politics into the mix unless it coorelates – which it does. As you read, you will see the proverbial ‘plot thicken’. Although Coronavirus is a real and devastating disease, there is more to it than meets the eye. This blog is also not a racial issue against people of Chinese/Asian origin. The following blog is intended to bring clarity, eye-opening information, and to offer peace amidst chaos. It is my goal to present a biblically-based, factually-based blog and not branch out into unconfirmed notions.  

“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”
~The words of Jesus, in John 16:33

At the time of this writing, our entire world is in the throes of the Coronavirus pandemic, also known as COVID-19 (I may use the terms interchangeably). Never in our generation has there been such an event that has forced worldwide restrictions, job loss, and closings on such a mass scale. There is also a shortage of the basic necessities and conveniences which so many are accustomed to. Grocery stores are struggling to keep the shelves stocked with paper goods, cleaning products, and food. It seems that our entire world was turned upside-down in just a few short weeks.

COVID-19 took many of us (not all – as discussed later) by surprise. But God was not shocked by this, nor did it strip Him of His power. His word and His promises are still very much true. Nothing can nullify His word.

Before we begin, let’s be sure of one thing: Although certain tribulations happen and are permitted as part of a divine plan, God is not the author of evil, darkness, or confusion (see 1st John 1:5, 1st Cor. 14:33).

Coronavirus Foretold by Jesus?

Mockers of Christianity and the Bible wrongly argue that the scriptures are, at best, historical text only and have no bearing on our lives today. However, that notion could not be further from the truth. Allow me to expound.

You see, Jesus’ words which He spoke while here on earth are still relevant today. Not only is His wisdom and promises true, but we find His predictions for the future are coming true right before our eyes.

One such prediction is in regards to what our world is seeing nowadays. Some 2,000 years after His words were spoken, we see them coming true! Let’s look at what Jesus foretold about the pandemic we find ourselves in today.

In Matthew 24 (and also echoed in Luke 21), Jesus’ disciples asked Him what would be the sign of His coming and of the end of the world. They knew He would return to earth a second time but they did not know when; would it be a few years or would it be far into the future? They wanted to know the hints and signs to look for, should it happen in their lifetime. Although Jesus told them the signs to look for, we find ourselves seeing what He foretold.

He spoke of many end times signs to look for – one of which was pestilences. Jesus said, “For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in divers places.” Although we can see how easily a famine, (scarcity of food) could happen during the Coronavirus, let’s pay special attention to this word, “pestilences“.

What is a pestilence?

The original scriptural text we are looking at was written in Greek. The Greek word for pestilences is “loimos” which means, “a plague; disease”.

The dictionary defines pestilence as a deadly or virulent epidemic disease; something that is considered harmful, destructive, or evil.”  The origin of the word “virulent” is taken from “Middle English verulent < Latin vīrulentus, equivalent to vīr(us) poison.”

By this, we can safely say that Jesus did, indeed, predict viruses of epic proportions as a sign of the end times. And here it is, folks… Coronavirus!

It is crystal clear that this virus is a subtle yet loud wake-up call to show that these are the beginning of sorrows which must take place. By God’s mercy, we have all been duly warned to BE READY and make sure that our souls are safe with Jesus.

This warning holds no fear for Christians; and yes, God gives the world ample warnings as shown repeatedly throughout scriptural history. We can stand before our Judge with no fear of negative consequences. If you detect fear arising in your heart at these warnings, please take the time to search your soul and cry out to Jesus for salvation. He will give you a calm assurance if you are one of His children.


Furthermore, it is highly plausible that this may also be a sign of God’s judgment for mankind’s escalating sin. In 2nd Peter 2, we learn how God punishes sin and how he delivers the righteous. Since God did not even spare the angels who sinned (now demons) — and since God did not spare the ancient world who sinned, (only righteous Noah and his family); and since God did not spare the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah for their sin of sexual misconduct/sodomy (but delivered Lot, who was righteous), then how could the sinful world today expect otherwise? Nonetheless, we see that God also knows how to deliver the righteous.   

God is just but He is also merciful for those who turn from sin. For an example (one of many), let’s consider his admonition to Israel: “If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land(2nd Chron. 7:14).

Be Prepared

The end could happen when we least expect it; much like the Coronavirus was unexpected. That’s why it’s important for us to be watchful and prepared to meet our Maker. Wasn’t it shocking to see how quickly our world turned upside-down? Likewise, it will be shocking, to many, how quickly Jesus can and will return someday.

Jesus admonishes us to be watchful. He said, “Watch therefore: for ye know not what hour your Lord doth come. But know this, that if the goodman of the house had known in what watch the thief would come, he would have watched, and would not have suffered his house to be broken up. Therefore be ye also ready: for in such an hour as ye think not, the Son of man cometh” (Matthew 24:42-44).

Jesus also said, “Now learn a parable of the fig tree; When his branch is yet tender, and putteth forth leaves, ye know that summer is nigh: So likewise ye, when ye shall see all these things, know that it is near, even at the doors. Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled. Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away” (Matthew 24:32-35). Remember, Jesus said when we see “all these things” happen that His coming is near. Please reference Matthew 24 to see what this entails (one of which is pestilences).

By this, we can take confidence in Jesus’ accurate words and scripture holding true in all other instances. This is a fright for the sinner but a comfort for the Christian.

Political Response to COVID-19

The Expositor’s Greek Testament, a commentary on the Bible, says that “famines and pestilences [are] the usual accompaniments of war.” Incidentally, the President of the United States, Donald Trump, posted a message in regards to the Coronavirus, writing: “The world is at war with a hidden enemy. WE WILL WIN!”


President Trump’s message could have multiple meanings, some of which (or none of which) he intended. Nonetheless, his statement reminded me that there is a hidden enemy, and perhaps, a hidden agenda behind the Coronavirus. The enemy is an evil spiritual force, with Satan at the helm.

“And it shall come to pass in the last days, says God, That I will pour out of My Spirit on all flesh; Your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, Your young men shall see visions, Your old men shall dream dreams.” ~Acts 2:17

In the book, The Vision and Beyond (published in 2003), the late David Wilkerson of Times Square Church writes in regards to calamities coming upon the earth. He wrote:

“…Can any of this [calamity] be avoided? Yes! Absolutely! I believe we will be given a reprieve if our [U.S.] President proves to be a Josiah. You may well remember Josiah as the king who sought the Lord with all his heart. We all should pray that God would give our President the same spirit that Josiah had; to tremble at His Word.”

The Lord spoke the following to Josiah:

“Thus says the Lord: ‘Behold, I will bring calamity on this place and on its inhabitants—all the words of the book which the king of Judah has read—because they have forsaken Me and burned incense to other gods, that they might provoke Me to anger with all the works of their hands. Therefore My wrath shall be aroused against this place and shall not be quenched.’ But as for the king of Judah, who sent you to inquire of the Lord, in this manner you shall speak to him, ‘Thus says the Lord God of Israel: Concerning the words which you have heard— because your heart was tender, and you humbled yourself before the Lord when you heard what I spoke against this place and against its inhabitants, that they would become a desolation and a curse, and you tore your clothes and wept before Me, I also have heard you,’ says the Lord. ‘Surely, therefore, I will gather you to your fathers, and you shall be gathered to your grave in peace; and your eyes shall not see all the calamity which I will bring on this place.’ So they brought back word to the king.” (2 Kings 22:16-20)

Wilkerson continues, “God told the king, in essence, ‘as long as you’re in power, trembling at my word and relying on me, you won’t see the judgments to come. They won’t happen during your reign’. I believe our window of opportunity to respond to God’s call is brief. We all should pray that our nation repents and turns back to the Lord, but our most intense prayers should be for our own hearts.”

No matter your political affiliation, we need God to guide our leaders’ decisions which directly impact us. Whether you are in the United States or another country, the most important thing the Christian can do is to pray for our leaders.  Let us humble ourselves to pray amidst this pestilence.

A Painful Prophecy

COVID-19, a biblically-prophesied pestilence, is a sign of the end times and the beginning of sorrows which must take place before Christ’s return.

We can liken this pandemic to an early, mild contraction for a woman in labor. A lot of suffering and pain has to happen before she can deliver her precious child. The pain will heighten in intensity and frequency as she gets closer to delivering. Likewise, much suffering and pain has to happen since the earth, as it were, is groaning through birth pains (see Romans 8:22). After all is said and done, Christians will be delivered as Heaven will deliver Jesus to us, for His triumphant return to earth!

Jesus stated: “A woman, when she is in travail, hath sorrow because her hour is come: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is born into the world. And ye now therefore have sorrow: but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy, no man taketh from you” (John 16:21-22).

In the Disguise of Philanthropy

This section, and the ones to follow, will be very revealing. There is so much in-depth information that it was needful to shorten (believe it or not, this is the ‘short’ version). However, I will have links provided throughout and at the bottom of this post. This section is intended to get us thinking about the grand scheme of things. It will soon become apparent why this section is very necessary.

Firstly, let’s define the word, ‘philanthropy’. The dictionary defines it as follows:

“altruistic concern for human welfare and advancement, usually manifested by donations of money, property, or work to needy persons, by endowment of institutions of learning and hospitals, and by generosity to other socially useful purposes.”

It would appear a Philanthropist would be a very admirable, noble person with pure motives – but is this always the case? Also, what does this have to do with the Coronavirus pandemic? And could this pandemic lead to the mark of the beast, defined in biblical prophecy? Allow me to explain…

Bill Gates, former CEO and co-founder of Microsoft (a big name in computer technology), just recently stepped down from the Microsoft board. The press release announcing his decision took place in the midst of the Coronavirus pandemic, citing his wishes to “dedicate more time to his philanthropic priorities.”


Screenshot from with Bill Gates on the cover

So, how is this news related to COVID-19? Is this news something prophetic? And what does ‘666’ have to do with it? Let’s search a bit deeper into this seemingly unrelated event. Allow me to lay some groundwork…

Gates and his wife, Melinda, are the Founders of The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation who fund partners worldwide. Namely, the Foundation’s ‘Global Health Division’ develops “new tools and strategies” for healthcare and infectious disease in poor countries. They “…work with partners that can help to affect change globally, and then scale solutions to a local level” by developing “vaccines, drugs, and diagnostics.”  (See my post, “Vaccines: A Moral Issue?”

The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation also provides health solutions for “family planning” (which includes abortion). Not surprisingly, Bill Gates’ father, a retired lawyer, served on the boards of many organizations; one of which was Planned Parenthood (an abortion clinic). Aborted fetuses can be used in vaccines and for vaccine research. Furthermore, abortion also serves as a form of population control. Vaccines and population control are both heavily supported by Bill Gates. After the Coronavirus outbreak, Bill Gates said, “The world also needs to accelerate work on treatments and vaccines for COVID-19.”

In an article by Ethan Huff, he wrote: “As is usually the case with suspicious disease outbreaks that get the media and academia talking about new vaccines and public-private partnerships, Bill Gates’ fingerprints are almost always hiding in the background. And this is exactly the case with coronaviruses, which could accomplish many of Gates’ expectations for the future, including mass depopulation, mass vaccination and mass consolidation of government power.”  At first glance, such claims seem scathing towards Bill Gates. However, after careful research, they are not outlandish whatsoever, as we will discover.

‘Predicting’ Pandemic?

The first case of COVID-19 in the world, didn’t occur until November 17, 2019. However, in a 2018 article in the New England Journal of Medicine, Bill Gates advocated strongly for quarantine and ‘predicted’ a future pandemic which may be a novel respiratory virus (exactly what COVID-19 is).

Interestingly, there was also an event with the Johns Hopkins Center in October 2019 (a month before the first Coronavirus case) called, “Event 201“. This invitation-only event was designed to discuss how to handle a global pandemic, envisioning a fast-spreading coronavirus. And, yes… this event was in collaboration with The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.


This is from the Johns Hopkins website. Notice the name ‘coronavirus’ under the headline. Also, take note of the date of this article. The first case of coronavirus wasn’t until November 17, 2019 — this article is dated for November 6, 2019 and speaks of the event which took place the prior month, in October.

Most so-called ‘fact check’ websites blatantly lie and twist words to protect Bill Gates. But if we simply go to the source, as I did, we find his words typed in black and white (on his own websites, in many cases).

What are the odds of Gates predicting a “novel respiratory virus” and of his Foundation collaborating on an event for a “coronavirus global pandemic exercise” before it ever occurred? This would sound much like a conspiracy theory if it weren’t true. Let the dates of his ‘predictions’ speak for themselves. Could it be that he knew something going on (behind the scenes) in advance?

“For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, nor hidden that will not be known. Therefore whatever you have spoken in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have spoken in the ear in inner rooms will be proclaimed on the housetops.” ~Luke 12:1-2

Let’s take a look at something else quite eyebrow-raising. The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation also donates funds to Pirbright Institute, whose mission is to “prevent and control viral diseases of livestock and those that spread from animals to people.”  This Institute also specializes in pandemic control, genetic engineering (altering genes), and they have a patent on Coronavirus.

In a recent press release, Pirbright Institute evaded the truth by saying, “The Pirbright Institute carries out research on infectious bronchitis virus (IBV), a coronavirus that infects poultry, and porcine deltacoronavirus that infects pigs. Pirbright does not currently work with human coronaviruses.” While this statement may be partially true, it is misleading. They claim the Coronavirus they study is only in regards to animals; however, there are two problems with this statement.

1.) Their mission statement (as notated above) would suggest otherwise.

2.) Their patent on the Coronavirus does, indeed, mention human Coronavirus.


Screenshot from Pirbright Institute’s coronavirus patent (page 40) where it does, indeed, research human coronavirus vaccine (which their press release denied).

This patent PCT was originally filed in 2015 and the patent was granted November 20, 2018; one year before the first case of COVID-19. Funds from The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation were then given in late 2019. Pirbright Institute claims these funds were not for the Coronavirus patented work but for ‘The Livestock Antibody Hub’. Given Pirbright’s obvious trickery of words (as proven above) and admitted ties to Bill Gates — well, let’s just say this could merit some suspicion. Furthermore, we can verify through the CDC (Centers for Disease Control) that animal studies and animal products are used in human vaccines; and that funding given by the Gates’ was part of the ‘One Health‘ agenda (think, one-world government/new world order, as we will discover in the next few paragraphs).

Globalization: Setting the Stage for 666

Globalization is simply another term to describe worldwide integration of a particular system. It’s drive is to make everything uniform across all nations of the world. Examples of this could be to have only one global currency, instead of several (such as the US Dollar, the British Pound, Japanese Yen, etc.). Likewise, globalization could be integrated to create a one world government or a new way in which the world operates (New World Order).

If globalization is to succeed, it is important to have the ability to track every human on the globe. People are far easier to track if they are stationary (as in quarantine), yet, it can be done in other ways such as digital identification. We already see family pets being microchipped, so this concept is not so far-fetched.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, we find globalization taking effect in its infancy forms; almost as a ‘practice run’ or a ‘drill’ for what is to come. Globally, certain restrictions are mandated and enforced by the governments.

We also learn that Microsoft, whose co-founder is Bill Gates, is a founding partner of the ID2020 Alliance. This alliance is working to create implantable digital IDs to track vaccine compliance (Coronavirus vaccine reasearch and a vaccine is being fast-tracked, as we speak – but what will be injected into us??). The digital ID would also be able to track human identity, location, and much more. The name “ID2020” is quite interesting, given that the Coronavirus pandemic prompting a “better way” heightened in the year 2020 — just some food for thought.

Nonetheless, their goal for this “fundamental human right” (as they call it) is to have everyone on the globe marked within a decade, at the latest. In order to ensure global compliance, the ID2020 Alliance is going to make this mark mandatory in order to receive essential services such as healthcare, education, voting rights, banking, and more.

“He [the Beast] causes all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hand or on their foreheads, and that no one may buy or sell except one who has the mark or the name of the beast, or the number of his name. Here is wisdom. Let him who has understanding calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man: His number is 666.” ~Revelation 13:16-18

The concept of the ID2020 Alliance Digital ID is not a fly-by-night conspiracy theory. On their official website, it states: “In September of 2015, all United Nations member states adopted to the 2030 Sustainable Development Goals, including their committment to provide legal identity for all, including birth registration by 2030.” And yes, 5G data will play a vital role in the ID2020 Alliance’s goals due to the expanding broadband coverage to facilitate registration, interaction, and personal data collection. Incidentally, Bill Gates once proposed to track newborns and vaccinations through cell phone technology.

Gates believes, “…the world also needs to invest in disease surveillance, including a case database that is instantly accessible to the relevant organizations and rules that require countries to share their information.”



An interesting and disturbing photo of a crucifix on the wall at an ID2020 Alliance gathering. This screenshot was taken directly from their website (

We can see how easily and rapidly the Coronavirus pandemic caused unprecedented changes and restrictions globally. This pandemic, in my opinion, will be the catalyst to push the agenda of an implantable microchip; all in the name of “better healthcare, vaccine compliance, virus tracking, and human rights.” Globalization (a New World Order) must happen before ID2020 will work.

David Rockafeller once said, “All we need is the right major crisis and the nations will accept the New World Order.” Is it a mere coincidence that The Rockafeller Foundation provides funding and ongoing support for the ID2020 agenda and is an alliance partner with them? Is it a mere coincidence that our world is now, indeed, in a major crisis?

Bible teacher, Irvin Baxter, recently stated: “The Bible prophesies that the Antichrist will ultimately reign over this world government for three-and-one-half years just prior to the Second Coming of Jesus to establish His own world government… The World Bank, the World Trade Organization, the World Health Organization—all of these powerful world institutions are exactly what they say they are. They are all components of the one-world government, the world government prophesied for the endtime 2,000 years ago.” (see Rev. 13:3-7, Dan. 7:23).

Was the timing of Bill Gates stepping down from his position at Microsoft, amidst the COVID-19 pandemic, any coincidence? What’s more, Microsoft Corporation is also a private sector supporter of The National Bureau of Asian Research. This Bureau conducts “advanced independent research on strategic, political, economic, globalization, health and energy issues affecting U.S. relations with Asia.” Wasn’t the first case of COVID-19 in an Asian country? Hasn’t COVID-19 suddenly appeared in the U.S. and globally? Could this be something political? Senator Joe Lieberman is a counselor for the Bureau, as well.

As if we can’t already see the writing on the wall, The National Bureau of Asian Research updated their Facebook cover photo in February 2020 reading, “China’s Vision for a New World Order”. I can’t make this stuff up!!


Screenshot from The National Bureau of Asian Research (Facebook)

Global Depopulation

Before we look briefly into the concept of global depopulation by way of pandemics, I want to make an observation. The U.S. national census so happened to be in 2020, amidst the chaos of COVID-19. The census is mandatory by law and accounts for all people living within the nation.

I also feel that “an enemy is afoot” with this worldwide pandemic. Yes, it was prophesied by Jesus and we were warned of evil forces at work. It is my belief that this attack was not accidental or happenstance. Perhaps, that is what President Trump means by a “hidden enemy” or “invisible enemy”.  It seems to be apparent to me that there was a lot going on behind the scenes, setting the stage for this outbreak, which very few knew about. The goal of such demonic forces is pure evil and, largely, due to greed.

“For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
~1 Timothy 6:10

You see, with global depopulation, it is easier to track less people. And, less people means less resources which means more money. Thus, Bill Gates’ drive to bring ‘healthcare’. He said: “…the good news is, that the faster we improve health, the faster family size goes down, and so we can feel great about saving those lives.”  Even China, in recent history, mandated a one-child policy (for a time) to control ‘over-population’ – where couples were only allowed to have one child.

Justice Is Coming

But don’t worry, there will ultimately be justice given by God. Psalm 9:15 states: “The nations have sunk down in the pit which they made; In the net which they hid, their own foot is caught.”

Likewise, Hebrews 10:30-37 states: “For we know Him who said, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord. And again, ‘The Lord will judge His people.’ It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God. But recall the former days in which, after you were illuminated, you endured a great struggle with sufferings: partly while you were made a spectacle both by reproaches and tribulations, and partly while you became companions of those who were so treated; for you had compassion on me in my chains, and joyfully accepted the plundering of your goods, knowing that you have a better and an enduring possession for yourselves in heaven. Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise:“For yet a little while, And He who is coming will come and will not tarry.”

As the Jamieson-Fausset-Brown Bible Commentary so aptly puts it… on the Day of Judgment, the judgments will not be “ecclesiastical or political but personal, not temporal but eternal—when all safety and blessedness will be found to lie in being able to ‘Stand before the Son of Man’ in the glory of His personal appearing.”

What COVID-19 Can’t Do

Although we make wise decisions and do our part, let’s not forget that COVID-19 is not all-powerful. God is greater. This pandemic is limited in many ways, some of which are listed below.

Coronavirus/COVID-19 can NOT destroy the soul
Coronavirus/COVID-19 can NOT usurp God’s authority
Coronavirus/COVID-19 can NOT scare God away
Coronavirus/COVID-19 can NOT steal our salvation
Coronavirus/COVID-19 can NOT make us stop loving
Coronavirus/COVID-19 can NOT chase angels away
Coronavirus/COVID-19 can NOT alter God’s promises
Coronavirus/COVID-19 can NOT loosen God’s grip on us


Provision Amidst Chaos 

“I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.” ~Psalm 37:25

Amidst the personal loss of income for many, due to COVID-19, God still knows what we have need of and how to provide our needs (see Matt 6:32). Just as God provided food for the widow (see 1st Kings 17) and finances in times of need (see Matt. 17), likewise, God will not forsake those of us who belong to Him and seek Him (see Matt. 6:25-34).


Yet, please remember… sorrows permitted in the world are designed to mercifully warn mankind of a far worse judgment to come for sinners. The true Christian need not fear.

“And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh” (Luke 21:28).

Peace and Protection Amidst Chaos

Amidst the chaos of COVID-19, God still knows how to bring peace to our hearts. Philippians 4:7 says, “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

“Those who will not hear the messengers of peace, shall be made to hear the messengers of war. But where the heart is fixed, trusting in God, it is kept in peace, and is not afraid. It is against the mind of Christ, that His people should have troubled hearts, even in troublous times… If God opens a door of escape, we ought to make our escape, otherwise we do not trust God, but tempt Him. It becomes Christ’s disciples, in times of public trouble, to be much in prayer: that is never out of season, but in a special manner seasonable when we are distressed on every side. Though we must take what God sends, yet we may pray against sufferings…” ~Matthew Henry

Fear is a symptom… it lets us know that we are not secure in trusting God’s ability to take care of us. However, do not feel condemned if you fear; rather, resolve to conquer fear through knowing that you are loved and cared for perfectly by the Lord. “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love (1st John 4:18).

Some wonderful scriptures of comfort for us to pray over ourselves and our loved ones is Psalm 34:7, 2nd Timothy 1:7, John 16:33, Deuteronomy 31:8, Romans 8, the 23rd Psalm, and the 91st Psalm.

As long as our soul is protected, that is what matters. Don’t fear that which can only kill the body but not soul. No virus or scheme of man can pluck us out of God’s hand or make His ear become deaf to our cries.

As I’ve referenced The Vision and Beyond book in this blog, allow me to close with the words of the author, David Wilkerson. He said, “God has not promised to keep His children from suffering. He has not promised to keep us from facing an hour of need. We have no promise of world peace, tranquility, security, or continuous financial well-being. We are promised peace and security of soul and mind, supernatural provision for every true need, and assurance that we would never have to beg for bread…”

He continues, “God is suddenly going to deliver His true children from his final fury that will be outpoured upon the earth. He will deliver His children from the most gruesome hour of disaster that the Bible predicts will fall upon the earth. Prepared Christians, wake up! Everything is under control and God is at work…”


VACCINES: A Moral Issue?


PREFACE: This study is written in regards to vaccines in the United States. Other countries may have varying products, policies and procedures. This is an informational article only. Therefore, all of your healthcare is ultimately decided upon by you, individually, and your physician.

This platform is a Bible study blog and not one utilized for ulterior motives or any type of agenda – other than to spread the truth and share God’s Word. However, since becoming a new mother, I have been forced to face many issues that I wouldn’t have otherwise; one of which is the topic of vaccines.

I thought that vaccines were more of a medical issue – but I have been amazed to find out that they are quickly becoming a moral issue, as well. Why? Because, it is a proven fact that aborted babies (and fetal cells from such) are used in vaccine research and in many vaccines themselves and even cited on the (CDC) Centers for Disease Control website. Abortion is definitely a moral issue dealing with murder (see Matt. 5:21-22, Rev. 21:8, Exo. 20:13).

Furthermore, research suggests that many of the ingredients in vaccines may be toxic – even carcinogenic in some cases. Therefore, even if we should wholly bar the topic of abortion, we must also ask ourselves if we are being good stewards of our bodies and/or our children’s bodies as the temple of the Holy Spirit? 1st Corinthians 6:19 states: Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?

Before embarking upon my study of vaccines, I wondered why I felt such a compulsion and zeal to write about/study this topic? Afterall, I used to get the flu shot every year. A few years ago, I stopped getting the flu shot after a horrible reaction. Still, I never felt the need to try to coerce others to abstain from vaccines… until lately.

As I stated above, I am not intending to take the place of your physician nor am I stating that vaccines are completely ineffective – I am merely writing for one goal: To potentially help others by shedding light on this topic and to make the public aware of what hidden ingredients are in so-called “safe” vaccines, while taking a closer look at the moral implications, thereof.

My blog stands for truth (see John 8:32) – therefore, I feel a moral obligation to make others aware of my findings. I have spent many hours researching and would feel remiss if I remained silent. It is for these aforementioned reasons that I have decided to tackle this very touchy and very complex topic. This is a lengthy read with a lot of information, so it may be best read in sections (like chapters of a book).

The Great Vaccine Debate

Writing on a subject so exhaustive as this takes a lot of research, time, and prayer. I want to present a factually-based blog and let my readers prayerfully decide what they feel is best. With so many different angles and views in this “Great Vaccine Debate” (as I’m calling it), I want to be fair to both sides while maintaining a push for what is right, morally-speaking. So, allow me to begin by stating both sides of this debate.

On one side you have the people that are pro-vaccines (pro-vaxxers), and on the other side you have those who are against vaccines (anti-vaxxers). Somewhere in the middle, there is an undecided subset of people that can see valid points from both sides of this debate. I may use the terms “pro-vaxxer” and “anti-vaxxer” in this blog to describe the two opposing sides. I am not using the terms in a derogatory manner, but simply to differentiate the two sides.

When writing about a topic with so many twists and turns, it can become mind-boggling and challenging to keep everything concise yet thorough. It also poses a challenge to know where to start and where to end. So, I suppose we will just dive into this topic and expound as needed.

Do Vaccines Really Contain Aborted Fetuses?

Pediatrician, Dr. Paul Offit, is a pro-vaxxer, co-inventor of the Rotavirus vaccine, and one of the more vocal supporters of vaccines. However, even he admits that some of the vaccines used today still contain aborted fetal material. In a video posted on the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia website, he stated the following:

“One question some parents are concerned about is whether or not vaccines are made using fetal cells – and the answer to that question is, YES! There are a few vaccines that are made that way.”

He goes on to list the vaccines which use the aborted fetal cells such as:

~Varicella (Chicken Pox) Vaccine

~Hepatitis A Vaccine

~Shingles Vaccine

~Rubella Vaccine

~Rabies Vaccine


He failed to mention a few other abortion-tainted vaccines such as:

~MMRII Vaccine (Measles, Mumps, Rubella combo)

~HIB Vaccine (Influenza Type B)

~Adenovirus Vaccine

~Diphtheria Vaccine

~Hepatitis B Vaccine

~Pertussis Vaccine

~Tetanus Vaccine

~Polio Vaccine

All of the above-mentioned vaccines are still utilized even though they contain known aborted fetal cell DNA.

Dr. Offit explains that viral vaccines are grown in cells. The aborted fetal cells for some of the vaccines were obtained in the 1960s from two elective abortions (one in England, one in Sweden). These cells have been reproduced to create the vaccines of the past and the ones we have today.

When aborted fetuses are used in vaccines, the package insert which lists the ingredients for the vaccine, will not state it so blatantly. Rather, phrasing such as “human diploid cells”, “recombinant human albumin”, “cellular proteins”, etc. are used; and codes such as “MRC-5”, “WI-38”, etc. are also utilized. The MRC-5 represents an electively aborted male at 14-weeks gestation whose lung tissue is utilized in many vaccines. The WI-38 represents an electively aborted female at 3-months gestation whose lung tissue is also utilized. Other codes you may see are: IMR-90, RA27/3, PERC6, or HEK293.


CDC website listing vaccine ingredients (I placed boxes around a few examples of aborted fetal cells in certain vaccines. There are more which contain such; this is just a small sampling.)

There is also mounting evidence that more aborted fetuses were used for research and development such as the “Walvax-2”, which was derived from a 3-month-old fetus. The Walvax-2 is being considered for manufacturing, as well as additional aborted fetuses used in Zika Virus research.

The Glaxo SmithKline package insert for the Hepatitis A Vaccine states, in part:

“Havrix (Hepatitis A Vaccine, Inactivated) is a noninfectious hepatitis A vaccine developed and manufactured by SmithKline Beecham Biologicals. The virus (strain HM175) is propagated in MRC5 human diploid cells.”

This is just one example from Glaxo SmithKline, but we find other companies using aborted fetal cells in their vaccines such as: Barr Labs Inc., Lilly, Merck & Co., Sanofi Pasteur, and Novartis. There may be others, but these are the ones I could pin down in my research. Even Merck, a major pharmaceutical company, admits there are aborted fetal cells in many of their vaccines. Furthermore, anybody can go to the official CDC website and read the vaccine ingredients for themselves and see that many do, indeed, contain aborted fetal cells and other surprising ingredients (more on this later).

In a response letter to the Executive Director for Children of God for Life, Debra Vinnedge, a representative with Merck’s Vaccine Division, Eileen M. Dolick, writes the following:

“Several of Merck’s current vaccines are developed in human diploid cell lines, as you mentioned. Human diploid cells are used to prepare vaccines against other serious or fatal diseases as well, including polio and rabies. We use these cell lines because they are the best science has to offer in terms of producing a safe and effective vaccine against certain diseases. Varicella (chicken pox) virus, for example, grows in a limited range of cells–human and guinea pig. After 28 years of research and clinical trials, Merck scientists determined that the most effective vaccine to prevent varicella is produced in the former.”

We also see, there is a more recent aborted fetal cell line, “PERC6”, which was developed in 1985 and is currently used in research to develop vaccines to treat Ebola and HIV. The origin of PERC6 is clearly documented. In direct testimony before the (FDA) Food and Drug Administration’s Vaccines and Related Biological Products Advisory Committee, Dr. Alex Van Der Eb, the scientist who developed PERC6, stated:

“So I isolated retina [cells] from a fetus, from a healthy fetus as far as could be seen, of 18 weeks old. There was nothing special in the family history, and the pregnancy was completely normal up to the 18 weeks; and it turned out to be a socially indicated abortus, abortus provocatus, and that was simply because the woman wanted to get rid of the fetus.”

Currently several vaccines using the PERC6 cell line are in development. Undoubtedly, the cells used to establish PERC6 came from a healthy baby, aborted by a healthy mother for social convenience reasons. In a paper published on, it states: “The use of fetal tissue from elective abortions is commonplace in the pharmaceutical industry and in medical research.”

Many people are calling for the aborted fetal cells to be removed from the vaccines and an alternative to be used. But, (aforementioned Pediatrician) Dr. Paul Offit said, “…to remove human fibroblast cells entirely from vaccines is out of the question…” since human viruses don’t grow well in animal cells. However, there are still a few vaccines which utilize animal cells, also.

Kyle Christopher McKenna, PhD., who is an associate professor of Biology at Franciscan University of Steubenville writes the following:


So yes, expert proponents and opponents to vaccines can agree on this one fact – many of the vaccines we have on the market today do, indeed, contain aborted fetal cells.

What Else Do Vaccines Contain?

Not only do we run into a moral issue with fetal manufactured vaccines, but there may also be more reasons why parents opt-out of vaccinating their children or themselves. Loving parents feel a moral obligation to protect their children to the best of their ability, since they are a gift from God. Children are indeed a heritage from the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is His reward” (Ps. 127:3).  However, it’s not only childhood vaccines that are in question.

Many of the flu vaccines used nowadays contain very toxic chemicals and surprisingly odd ingredients such as: Shark liver cells (squalene), Formaldehyde (a known carcinogen – capable of causing cancer), Armyworm cell proteins (Spodoptera frugiperda), Cocker Spaniel kidney cell protein (MDCK), Thimerosal (a potential toxin at certain levels), Pig gelatin (Porcine), and such.

Even many of the childhood vaccines and vaccines suggested for pregnant women (such as DTaP) contain Formaldehyde which is carcinogenic. Likewise, they also contain Aluminum which has been scientifically-proven to be toxic to the embryo in animal models and a neurotoxin to humans. The more Aluminum, the greater the risk of adverse neurotoxic effects (children born in the US are the highest vaccinated in the entire world). The vast majority of all vaccines contain Aluminum, in some form.

As mentioned above, DNA cells from animals are also utilized in a variety of vaccines. Some may take issue with this due to the Bible’s prohibition of consuming animal blood. It seems the primary cause, among other reasons, for abstaining from consuming animal blood was/is that it can cause disease. Although we are not eating the vaccine ingredients, some may feel uncomfortable mingling animal blood with human blood.

In the Old Testament, consuming blood was met with severe punishment. Leviticus 17:10 states: And whatsoever man there be of the house of Israel, or of the strangers that sojourn among them, that eateth any manner of blood, I will set my face against that soul that eateth blood, and will cut him off from among his people.”

In the New Testament, a letter was written to the Gentile Believers in Antioch. In part, it stated that they must abstain from blood. It seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us not to burden you with anything beyond these essential requirements: You must abstain from food sacrificed to idols, from blood, from the meat of strangled animals, and from sexual immorality. You will do well to avoid these things. Farewell” (Acts 15:28,29).

Suffice it to say that there is much controversy over the ingredients and/or preservatives used in vaccines such as: aluminum, neomycin, glyphosate, MSG, antibiotics, Thimerosol/ ethyl mercury, Vero cells (African green monkey), and more.

Do Vaccines Actually Cause Health Problems?

The primary argument of pro-vaxxers is that vaccines are safe and protect against illness. But, at what cost? And, are the potential side effects, and known toxic chemicals contained therein, worth the risk? It stands to reason that vaccines are not the only way to protect against illness.

Merck (a global healthcare company and vaccine manufacturer) even admits that no vaccine can result in 100% effectiveness for all vaccinees. Let’s look at just a few vaccines, for example purposes.

Influenza Vaccine:

The flu (Influenza) vaccine greatly varies in effectiveness since there is no way to emphatically predict which strain of flu will circulate in any given year. The non-profit organization, National Vaccine Information Center, reported a few studies in regards to flu vaccines. One was a Canadian study published in 2015. This study found the effectiveness of the flu vaccine decreased when a person received the shot two years in a row. Another study looked at adults hospitalized for the flu. In these individuals, the flu vaccine’s effectiveness against the H3N2 strain was reported at -43% (negative forty-three percent). NVIC states: “A negative percentage indicates that persons who were vaccinated with the 2018-2019 seasonal flu vaccine were more likely to be hospitalized for flu, than those who were not.”

Cochrane, a research website unconstrained by commercial or financial interests, reported that vaccinated adults over the age of 65 only have a slightly lowered risk of Influenza (from 6% to 2.4%); but, they readily admit that the evidence for this “lower risk” was limited by biases from the outside studies they looked at. Cochrane stated that such available evidence provided “no clear guidance for public health regarding the safety, efficacy, or effectiveness of influenza vaccines for people aged 65 years or older.” Another Cochrane study review found that healthy adults who were vaccinated only had a lower influenza risks by 2% down to just under 1%; but also stated: “Vaccines increase the risk of a number of adverse events…”

Founder of the Vaccine Course Organization, André Angelantoni, writes the following:


Angelantoni also writes about the biggest risk associated with the flu shot… Guillain- Barré Syndrome, which causes paralysis (most times temporary but sometimes permanent). He writes, “There are lots of other ways the flu shot causes the body to attack itself… Saying that repeated immune activation has nothing to do with the body eventually learning to attack itself [as in autoimmune diseases] is absurd on its face. In reality, it doesn’t matter whether the activation is naturally caused or artificially caused. Each activation increases the risk of the body learning to attack itself. It [the influenza vaccine] is the most compensated vaccine injury in the United States National Vaccine Injury Compensation Program.”

(MMR) Measles, Mumps, Rubella Vaccine:

The MMRII vaccine, which contains a live virus, toxic chemicals, and aborted fetal cells, can cause significant adverse events such as: atypical measles, encephalitis, deafness, pneumonia, diabetes mellitus, seizures/convulsions, subacute sclerosing panencephalitis, neurologic disorders, aseptic meningitis, and renal failure. Independent research has also linked the MMR vaccine to Autism (more on this later).

Earlier this year, Maine’s first case of measles since 2017 was reported in Somerset County. Even though the CDC confirmed that the child was vaccinated, he/she still became ill with the measles. Likewise, a Utah boy, Finn Price, became ill with the mumps even though he was up to date on his vaccines.

As of 2015, the CDC and VAERS data showed no deaths, in over a decade, from people who had the measles (disease); however, there were over 100 deaths reported during this time linked to the measles vaccine. More recently, that number has risen to 500 deaths and approximately 100,000 adverse events from the MMR vaccine reported to VAERS. Bear in mind, this number may be modest as a very small percentage of vaccine injuries are actually reported and accounted for by VAERS. By this, it is clear that the measles vaccine poses more of a risk than the measles itself.

Hepatitis B Vaccine:

One of the very first vaccines given to newborns immediately after birth is the Hepatitis B vaccine. This vaccine was designed to protect against STD’s (sexually transmitted diseases) and can offer some protection against infected needles used in illicit drug use or tattoos.

Some of the more serious potential side effects of the Hepatitis B vaccine include: Multiple Sclerosis, Seizures, Lupus, and anaphylaxis. Mind you, this is just a sampling of its potential dangers. Furthermore, the Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices recommends patients be monitored 15-minutes after a Hepatitis B vaccine to make sure they won’t have an acute adverse reaction or syncope (fainting).

Below, you will find some alarming statistics by

~Healthy, full-term United-States-born infants are at INCREASED risk of DYING between 1 month and 1 year of age. [Most of which receive the Hepatitis B vaccine.]

~Infants born in other countries (Sweden, Norway, Japan, Finland, Switzerland, Denmark), who have an increased probability of living past their first birthday, do NOT receive the Hepatitis B Vaccine. 

~The Hepatitis B Vaccine contains 225 micrograms of aluminum! That is nearly 10 times the amount allowed by the FDA to be given to ADULTS over a 24-hour period in IV medications. 

Rotavirus Vaccine:

The very first vaccine given for rotavirus had to be withdrawn because it caused intussusception. This is a life-threatening illness where the bowel folds and becomes obstructed. Even with the current rotavirus vaccine, there is still a small risk of intussusception. Even though the original vaccine was withdrawn, the damage was done. Who is to say that the current rotavirus vaccine couldn’t be recalled at some point, as well? Even if the vaccine does not cause intussusception, it has possible side effects of vomiting and diarrhea – exactly what the vaccine is supposed to prevent. It seems senseless to take a vaccine or any medication that actually causes what it is supposed to be preventing. What’s more, the rotavirus vaccine sheds for weeks after it is given and could possibly spread to the parents or siblings of the vaccinated child.

Smallpox Vaccine:

The vaccine for smallpox is no longer routinely given, but is still available for certain individuals. It has been notoriously dangerous for pregnant women as it can cause stillbirth. Furthermore, the CDC recommends that people with health conditions (even something as mild as eczema) should not receive the vaccine or even be in the same house with someone who receives it! Accidentally touching the site of the vaccine can easily spread smallpox since the vaccine contains a live virus (the US vaccine). It can even be spread to oneself. The site of the vaccine is often itchy – therefore, if a person scratches where the vaccine was given and then rubs their eyes or another part of the body, they can spread the live virus over their own body!

DTaP Vaccine:

According to the CDC, the DTaP (Diphtheria, Tetanus, Pertussis) vaccine has the potential to cause long-term seizures, coma, permanent brain damage, or a fever over 105 degrees Fahrenheit. Yet, such a vaccine is recommended (even pushed, in some cases) for pregnant women to receive!

Shingles Vaccine:

One of the vaccines for shingles, Zostavax (manufactured by Merck & Co/parent company Bayer AG), has been at the center of over 50 lawsuits, according to Tor Hoerman Law, LLC, and is part of a multi-district litigation (MDL).

This law office states that Zostavax only works in about 50% of patients and has caused serious injuries such as “blindness, hearing loss, paralysis, brain damage, and fatal liver failure.” Tor Hoerman Law, LLC also reports that, “Yes – this shingles vaccine will likely cause you to contract shingles.”

Subsequently, a Zostavax vaccine label change was required in 2011; nonetheless, this very dangerous vaccine is still on the market. Furthermore, if patients were to read the fine print about this vaccine, they would find (on Merck’s dedicated vaccine website, that “transmission of vaccine virus may occur between vaccinees and susceptible contacts.”        

HPV Vaccine:

The HPV (Human Papillomavirus) Vaccine was designed to protect against the Human Papillomavirus which is a sexually transmitted disease. However, there have been thousands of reports of adverse effects from this vaccine which have caused permanent damage to some individuals (and even death).

Christina Tarsell was a 21-year-old woman who received the HPV vaccine, Gardasil (manufactured by Merck), and died a few days thereafter. Dr. Yehuda Shoenfeld and Dr. Michael Eldar determined that Christina died from an arrhythmia which was an autoimmune response to the HPV vaccine. Christina’s mother, Emily Tarsell, had enough evidence to prove to The United States Court of Federal Claims that the vaccine was the cause of her daughter’s sudden death. In part, the court document reads:

“Ultimately, because of the finding that Christina began to experience arrhythmia after her HPV vaccination, Ms. Tarsell has presented preponderant evidence of a logical sequence of cause and effect, connecting the HPV vaccination to the ensuing arrhythmia.”


Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.

Generally-speaking, Pharmaceutical Regulatory Affairs concluded the following: “Our study suggests that HPV vaccines containing HPV-16L1 antigens pose an inherent risk for triggering potentially fatal autoimmune vasculopathies.

Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., nephew of President John F. Kennedy, Activist, Attorney, Executive Producer (of the movie, “Vaxxed II”), and Founder of the non-profit organization, Children’s Health Defense, states: “…nobody in the world would ever, who has any concern for a little girl, would ever give them this [HPV] vaccine.” He continues, “This vaccine gives you cancer, if you’ve already been exposed.”


Autism, SIDS & More:

Many have questioned whether or not vaccines could be to blame for Autism, SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome), and/or other severe childhood illnesses. The Children’s Health Defense posted a report showing an increase in childhood chronic illness as the number of vaccines increase. In 1986, there were a total of 7 routine vaccines given (in 24 doses) and 12.8% of children with chronic illness. However, in 2019, there are 16 routine vaccines given (in 72 doses) and a huge increase in childhood chronic illness of 54%.

Autism Spectrum Disorder (also known as ASD or Autism) is a neurologic disability. We have also seen that certain chemicals used in vaccines, namely aluminum and Thimerosal, are neurotoxins. In his book, Thimerosal: Let the Science Speak, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. writes about the “…broad consensus among research scientists that Thimerosal is a dangerous neurotoxin.” He also spoke at the Autism One Conference about vaccine safety and his closing remarks were, “What are we doing to the children in this country?”

Many believe that there is a direct link between certain vaccines and the increase in Autism. The website states: “Would it surprise you to know that prior to the introduction of the MMR vaccine that was produced using aborted fetal cell lines, the rate of autism in the United States was 1 in 10,000?  Would it surprise you to learn that the dates coinciding with vaccine mandates state by state also coincide with a rise in autism?  In 1995 another spike in autism rate surged.  Why?  The chickenpox vaccine, which uses aborted fetal cell lines was introduced to the US market that same year.  Would it surprise you to learn that in other countries, the same spikes in autism correlate to the introduction of aborted fetal vaccines?” 

As of 2017, Sound Choice Pharmaceutical Institute found a direct link between human fetal manufactured vaccines and autism. Their study did, indeed, show a link between the two. Their findings demonstrated “ecologic, epidemiologic, biologic and dose-dependent associations between human fetal manufactured vaccines and autism.”


Professor Chris Exley and Dr. Andrew Wakefield are two of the better-known researchers who have claimed that the MMR vaccine causes Autism. The CDC claims that the MMR vaccine does not cause Autism. However, we must also consider that the CDC has a vested interest in protecting the MMR vaccine since they benefit financially from the sales thereof (more on this later).

Toxicologist, Ashley Everly, reported the following (summarized):

~Autistic children are known to accumulate/harbor aluminum.

~Aluminum is a neurotoxic metal. When it reaches the brain, it tends to be deposited in the cerebellum.

~The cerebellum is the most frequently disrupted brain region of individuals with autism.

~Aluminum is an ingredient in many pediatric vaccines: Hep B, Hep A, DTaP, pneumococcal, Hib…

~We do NOT readily excrete injected aluminum. In one study it was found that 94% of the aluminum injected via vaccine/intramuscular injection remains in the body after 28 days.

~We are repeatedly injecting babies with neurotoxic levels of aluminum on day one of birth (more or less neurotoxic depending on the child), then every two months until 6 months, during the most critical neurodevelopmental phases of their lives, and beyond.

~The amount of aluminum in vaccines has risen dramatically since the 80s, along with autism rates.

~While our own federal government refuses to perform a study comparing the health of vaccinated children to unvaccinated children, they have financially compensated families of previously healthy and normally developing children who regressed into autism following vaccines via the Vaccine Injury Compensation Program.

~Another study found that 98% of autistic individuals have at least one MTHFR mutation – which means they struggle to detoxify and eliminate neurotoxic substances like aluminum from the body, much more than individuals who do not have this mutation.

~MTHFR mutations have been linked to an increased risk of adverse events from vaccines, in at least one study.

You can read more of Ashley Everly’s reports and articles by clicking HERE.

In regards to the MTHFR gene mutation, I would like to add one more thought.

Let me briefly define MTHFR. These initials are short for a very long medical term: “Methylenetetrahydrofolate Reductase”. The MTHFR gene mutation can be found in over 40% of individuals. That means those with the MTHFR gene mutation may not be able to properly break down/process or detox from the toxic ingredients found in vaccines. MTHFR mutations are not routinely tested for and require specific genetic testing; therefore, how would a parent know if their child has this mutation on the first day of its life when the first vaccine is given??

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome:

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, or SIDS, has been reported by countless parents within hours or a few days after their infant was vaccinated.


The form used for SIDS victims as listed on the CDC website. Notice item 4 (which I placed a box around to highlight).

Circle of Mamas is a website that brings awareness to vaccine injuries in infants and children. On a recently published article, a very valid point was brought out: “Not every person who gets a vaccine will experience a recognizable vaccine injury, but that doesn’t mean vaccine injuries are rare, or don’t happen. We know they happen.”


SIDS listed as a possible side effect… that means DEATH is a known side effect of this vaccine, yet it is still administered! This drug is also known in the U.S. as Pentacel.

The following infant deaths were reported shortly after vaccinations:

  • Evee Clobes died 36 hours after 6 vaccines, in two shots, one of them a 5-in-one.
  • Remy died the same night as his 2-month shots, where he received 8 vaccines total.
  • Nicholas Catone died 17 days after one Dtap, at 18 months old.
  • Gemma died 5 days after her 2 month check up.
  • Madilynn received her 8-week shots, was screaming/fussy, and died the next morning.
  • Malcolm died 7 hours after his first immunizations at 2 months old.
  • Donovan died 4 days after his 2-month shots, which were even a little late.
  • Rory died just 5 days after her past-due shots at 9.5 months old.
  • Berit died less than 48 hours of his 2-month shots.
  • Corbyn was 13 months old and died 14 hours after a flu shot.
  • Vida died 7 days after her 4-month shots.
  • Remi Rose died less than 48 hours of a Hep B vaccine she received at 19 days old.
  • Kia died suddenly 6 days after his 2 month vaccines.
  • Amiah died less than 21 hours after her a Dtap shot she got at 15 months old.
  • Michael Whitesell (age 1) died three days after getting four shots in October of 2015.
  • Matthew Gage Downing-Powers (5 1/2 mos. old) died less than two days after receiving vaccines against eight diseases in October 2013.
  • Zara Antoinette Shiel (15 mos. old) passed away in her sleep the day after receiving her scheduled 15-month vaccinations in November 2014. 
  • Lucas Annikan Cage Shull (6 mos. old) passed away in his sleep of SIDS a few days after getting his very first round of vaccinations in February 2018.
  • Healthy Babies Don’t Just Die

(Infant deaths listed above was reported by Circle of Mamas. Also see HERE for more parents who say their children were destroyed by vaccines).

Religious Views on Vaccines

Although this blog does not endorse or promote Catholicism, we can agree with their belief that abortion is sin. For research purposes, let’s look into what the Catholic view is on vaccines – since many vaccines contain human aborted fetal cells, and pose moral concerns.

Dr. Offit, as previously mentioned, states that some Catholics have questioned vaccines being created by aborted fetal cells as a moral issue, since abortion is a sin worthy of ex-communication within Catholicism. However, he assures Catholics that Pope Benedict XVI ruled on this issue by basically saying that, although it was unfortunate the aborted fetal cells were chosen to make certain vaccines, it was still justifiable to give such vaccines to their children. By this, it seems that the Catholic church has changed or loosened its previous stricter view.

Around the year 2005, the Pontifical Academy for Life produced a study on the topic of aborted fetal cells in vaccines. In part, the study states that such vaccines…

“do not cease to pose ethical problems.” And asks these thought-provoking questions: “If someone rejects every form of voluntary abortion of human fetuses, would such a person not contradict himself/herself by allowing the use of these vaccines of live attenuated viruses on their children? Would it not be a matter of true (and illicit) cooperation in evil, even though this evil was carried out forty years ago?”

Furthermore, it names three categories of evil. “In the specific case under examination, there are three categories of people who are involved in the cooperation in evil; evil which is obviously represented by the action of a voluntary abortion performed by others: a) those who prepare the vaccines using human cell lines coming from voluntary abortions; b) those who participate in the mass marketing of such vaccines; c) those who need to use them for health reasons.”

We find that the basic summary of this entire study by the Pontifical Academy for Life is this:

“-there is a grave responsibility to use alternative vaccines and to make a conscientious objection with regard to those which have moral problems;

– as regards the vaccines without an alternative, the need to contest so that others may be prepared must be reaffirmed, as should be the lawfulness of using the former in the meantime insomuch as is necessary in order to avoid a serious risk not only for one’s own children but also, and perhaps more specifically, for the health conditions of the population as a whole – especially for pregnant women;

– the lawfulness of the use of these vaccines should not be misinterpreted as a declaration of the lawfulness of their production, marketing and use, but is to be understood as being a passive material cooperation and, in its mildest and remotest sense, also active, morally justified as an extrema ratio due to the necessity to provide for the good of one’s children and of the people who come in contact with the children (pregnant women);

– such cooperation occurs in a context of moral coercion of the conscience of parents, who are forced to choose to act against their conscience or otherwise, to put the health of their children and of the population as a whole at risk. This is an unjust alternative choice, which must be eliminated as soon as possible.”

Whether we agree whole-heartedly with the above-mentioned study or not, we find one truth screaming at us… using vaccines with known aborted fetal material in them poses a huge moral issue for many.

Most Christians would consider abortion to be a sin (murder) which has lasting consequences for the one who chooses such as well as the unborn child. As commentator Matthew Henry once wrote: “If we dishonour God with that which is our honour, it will, sooner or later, be turned into shame to us.” However, for the woman who deeply regrets her decision to abort – there is forgiveness through Christ (see 1st Corinthians 6:11).

Mandates and Religious Exemptions

In times past, it was not revealed to most parents that their children’s vaccines contained aborted fetal cells, as well as other harmful ingredients. The vaccine schedule for times past, even as recent as the 1980’s, was not as exhaustive as it is nowadays. We find childhood chronic illness rising as the number of childhood vaccines rise. No matter which camp you identify with, pro-vaxxers or anti-vaxxers, it is of utmost importance to do your research.

Parents who decide that vaccines just aren’t right for their child may face many obstacles. Firstly, many public schools will not allow a child to attend without proof of immunizations. Also, there are a few Pediatricians who refuse to accept patients who abstain from vaccines. There are many other obstacles that anti-vax parents must face such as bullying, medical/peer-pressure, being misunderstood and called “irresponsible parents”, “uneducated”, or “flat-earthers”. The bullies suppose anti-vaxxers believe the earth is flat and not round; insinuating that they are conspiracy theorists. In reality, the vast majority of anti-vax parents are well-studied, highly responsible, and merely doing what they feel is best for the well-being of their child.

Such treatment is not only a problem for parents, but also a problem for many adults with no children. In many professions, namely the healthcare industry, there is a possibility that employees can get fired (laid off) from their job due to vaccine-abstinence. Vaccines are also mandated in the military.


Threats from the FDA about possibly mandating vaccines

It is unclear if vaccines will be mandated for all in the future, but as it stands now, there is still the right (in most states) to obtain a religious exemption. According to Tampa Bay Times, there has been a large increase in people obtaining religious exemptions for vaccines. It was reported that “between 2011 and 2018, religious exemptions shot up each year from about 6,500 students to almost 25,000 — an increase of about 375 percent over those years.”

Political Views on Abortion and Vaccines

We find that abortion is also a political issue – even more so now. This is why vaccines are such a hot topic – because many of them contain aborted fetal DNA which raises the topic of pro-life and pro-choice which has been highly politicalized.

_I’ve noticed that everybody that is for abortion has already been born._

Former President, Ronald Reagan, once said, Each year, remarkable advances in prenatal medicine bring even more dramatic confirmation of what common sense has told us all along: that the child in the womb is simply what each of us once was, a very young, very small, dependent, and very vulnerable live member of the human family.”  President Reagan was also quoted as saying, “I’ve noticed that everybody that is for abortion has already been born.”

Former President, John F. Kennedy, supported the polio vaccine and signed the Vaccination Assistance Act. However, one of the leading voices and advocates for safer vaccine practices nowadays is his nephew, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., who writes the following:



In addition to vaccines being a health, religious, and political issue, they are also a governmental and legal issue in the United States. Our government websites (such as,, etc.) seem to support and even push vaccination. Yet, we also have vaccine injury court, Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System (VAERS), The National Vaccine Injury Compensation Program (NVICP), and legislation in certain states questioning vaccine safety.

Most recently, the state of Texas set forth a bill to be enacted by the Legislature of the state to amend a health and safety code in regards to vaccines. This Act was to take effect on September 1, 2019. The Act stated that administration of certain vaccines be prohibited unless they met certain guidelines set forth. In short, a few of the guidelines mentioned were:

*The vaccine had to be evaluated for safety against a control group receiving a placebo.

*There needed to be a sufficient time to study the vaccine to identify possible autoimmune, neurological, or chronic health conditions that may arise from the vaccine.

*The vaccine needed to be evaluated for its potential to cause cancer, mutate genes, affect fertility or cause infertility, cause Autism Spectrum Disorder.

*Any findings of injuries, diseases, chemical, pharmacological, therapeutic, and adverse effects from the vaccine should be disclosed on the department’s website.


Details of the aforementioned Texas vaccine bill

What Does the Bible Say?

We know that vaccines, as such, did not exist during the time when the Bible was written. Nonetheless, the use of drugs is mentioned in the Bible.

Of note, the Bible speaks of the future fall of Babylon (evil) in Revelation 18:23. “…For your merchants were the great men of the earth, for by your sorcery all the nations were deceived.” It is quite intriguing that the word used in this scripture, “sorcery”, actually is derived from the original Greek word “pharmakeia” (which is where we get the English words, “pharmacy, pharmacist, and pharmaceutical”). The definition for the word, “pharmakeia” from the Strong’s Concordance is: “the use of medicine, drugs, or spells.” It is further explained by HELPS Word-Studies as: “pharmakeía (from pharmakeuō, “administer drugs”) – properly, drug-related sorcery, like the practice of magical-arts, etc.”

Galatians 5:19-21 also mentions the word “sorcery” which is derived from the same original Greek word, “pharmakeia”. “Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.” Vincent’s Word Studies expounds on sorceries: “From φάρμακον a drug, and thence a poison, an enchantment.”

Without going into an exhaustive side study on this topic alone, I cannot comment as to all of the implications and meanings of this. Nonetheless, I felt it note-worthy to mention since we are speaking of drugs/vaccines in this post.

Money, Money, Money!

If vaccines are unsafe, why are they still available?

It seems the answer to the above-stated question can be answered in four words…





The Bible states in 1st Timothy 6:11, “For the love of money is the root of all evil…”

The pharmaceutical industry is a proverbial money-making machine. For instance, Merck (a global healthcare company/vaccine manufacturer) reported a 2018 revenue of $42.3 billion! That’s not to mention other “Big Pharma” companies, organizations, etc. We also find astronomical price gouging on many prescription medications. By in large, the pharmaceutical industry can be quite greedy. When there is anything that might pose a potential threat to their financial income, they will attack it. The attacks can be in the form of media censorship (or censoring free speech), cover-ups, counter-attack ads, lies, industry-funded biased studies, scare-tactics, and more.

In order for the larger entities to be protected from devastating lawsuits, the Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System (VAERS) and the National Vaccine Injury Compensation Program (NVICP) was put into place. Even the NVICP website admits the program was “created in the 1980s, after lawsuits against vaccine companies and health care providers threatened to cause vaccine shortages and reduce U.S. vaccination rates…”

The Children’s Vaccine Initiative book echoes this statement by stating that the program removes, “most of the liability burden from manufacturers for immunization-related injuries…” What’s more, the NVICP has a cap on how much they will pay out. Even if it can be proven that a death was related to a vaccine, there is a limit of $250,000 compensation, and the vaccine may remain on the market.

As far back as the late 1980s, there were so many NVICP cases of vaccine injuries pending that the processing time for claims had to be extended; imagine how many more claims have been adding up since that time! Children’s Health Defense states that “anywhere from 4,500 to perhaps 45,000 serious vaccine injuries occur every year in the United States.” Even still, injuries are under-reported and the NVICP doesn’t play fair in compensating those who are/were vaccine-injured. Former Chief Special Master, Gary Golkiewicz, said, “[The government] has a vested interest in vaccines being good. It doesn’t take a mental giant to see the fundamental unfairness in this.”

According to Children’s Health Defense, there is a $4 billion “budget for federal vaccine promotion and development.” Additionally, vaccine promotion is funded by The Gates Foundation. As you may know, Bill Gates is the founder of Microsoft and is among the wealthiest in America. The National Vaccine Information Center reports that The Gates Foundation is the largest philanthropic foundation in the world with a $43.5 billion trust. One of the primary goals of this foundation is to make certain that “every child in the world is vaccinated.”

In 2015, an undercover video was released claiming that Planned Parenthood was profiting off of sales from aborted fetal tissue. Of course, they have denied this charge. But as we have seen, aborted fetal tissue is in high demand since it is used for research purposes and utilized in some vaccines.

PBS reported the following:

“From 2011 through 2014 alone, 97 research institutions — mostly universities and hospitals — received a total of $280 million in federal grants for fetal tissue research from the National Institutes of Health. A few institutions have consistently gotten large shares of that money, including Yale, the University of California and Massachusetts General Hospital, which is affiliated with Harvard.”

Marketing Lies

As stated earlier, when there is anything that might pose a potential threat to the vaccine industry and their financial income, they go on the attack. In this section, we will briefly cover some of their strategies.

It would take an entire book to cover every single lie told by some of the major pharmaceutical companies. For the sake of time and space, we will just cover a few.

For starters, Tor Hoerman Law office handled a multi-district lawsuit against Zostavax, a shingles vaccine. This lawsuit alleges that “Merck & CO became aware that the vaccine could cause patients to contract shingles during its premarket approval trials but failed to list shingles as a possible side effect until December 2014, nearly seven years after it was approved by the FDA.” Could this also be the case with other vaccines on the market?

Speaking of Merck, it was reported by CBS News that Merck executives had created a “hit list” in 1999 of doctors who were critical of one of their products, Vioxx. Even though this drug was not a vaccine (but a pain killer; since taken off the market), this example is merely to show the hidden behavior behind some of the largest pharmaceutical companies. In regards to this case, one Merck email stated: “We may need to seek them [opposing doctors/researchers] out and destroy them where they live …”

Merck’s goal was also to discredit opposing doctors. The lawyer for the Plaintiffs said: “It gives you the dark side of the use of key opinion leaders and thought leaders … if (they) say things you don’t like to hear, you have to neutralize them… It does suggest a certain culture within the organization about how to deal with your opponents and those who disagree with you.”

The CBS report further stated: “The allegations come on the heels of revelations that Merck created a fake medical journal — the Australasian Journal of Bone and Joint Medicine — in which to publish studies about Vioxx; had pop songs commissioned about Vioxx to inspire its staff, and paid ghostwriters to draft articles about the drug.“

In 2016, yet another bombshell came out against Merck – one of the world’s leading drug/vaccine manufacturers. The Los Angeles Times reported that “Merck lied in a patent trial” about a Hepatitis C drug and that they lied under oath. Federal Judge Beth Labson Freeman had the following remarks to make about Merck’s conduct (or lack thereof): “…systematic and outrageous deception in conjunction with unethical business practices and litigation misconduct.” If they have lied before, what is to stop them from doing it again?

We have also seen some shadiness this year with the licensing of the MMR (Measles, Mumps, Rubella) vaccine. Emmy-Award winner, Del Bigtree, brought attention to this matter recently on his medical news program, The HighWire.  Bigtree reported that government records showed the MMR vaccine was licensed “using an irresponsibly small and limited group of children.” Therefore, it was licensed on limited and corrupted data. Even though over half of the participants in the trial for the MMR reported upper respiratory infections and gastrointestinal symptoms, the FDA looked the other way and the symptoms were wrongly labeled as “other viruses”. Bigtree also said, “But what’s even more alarming is learning about the serious adverse events that were known and acknowledged, yet ignored in order to license the MMR vaccine.”

Restricting and Censoring the Truth

Earlier this year, GoFundMe (an online fundraising platform) announced they would no longer allow those who oppose vaccines to raise money on their website. A spokesman for the company stated that it went against their terms of service to promote “misinformation about vaccines”, even though the information may be accurate… just not readily accepted or popular.


Notice how it is automatically assumed that opponents to vaccines have “misinformation”?

We also find such censoring on popular social media platforms such as Facebook, YouTube, and Pinterest (perhaps other websites, but these are the ones I have confirmed). For example, there will be a supposed “fact check” under YouTube videos by anti-vaxxers or those exposing the dangers of vaccines (see screenshot image below from YouTube).


Notice the “Vaccine controversies” disclaimer under the video? Ladies and gentlemen, this is censorship at it’s finest (insert sarcasm).


Even more censorship and restrictions for those against vaccines

Biased, Favorable Marketing

Don’t be deceived… many large entities are in cahoots with one another and as the saying goes, “money talks”. Some media outlets are used to promote scare tactics of supposed outbreaks as to garner more business for vaccine manufacturers. The news used to be a factual way to obtain information and was free of opinion – not so any longer. The term “Fake News” is not so far-fetched. Outbreaks which have been reported by the media/news are mostly found to be small in number and caused by vaccine shedding – when a person gets a vaccine and sheds, sickening innocent bystanders (even some vaccinated bystanders).


CDC using media for scare tactics

We also find mostly favorable reporting on vaccines and their safety. Why? Because many of these reports are actually funded by the vaccine manufacturers or those who will benefit financially from the sale of vaccines (see example HERE of a favorable report funded by the CDC.

Not only do financial beneficiaries fund vaccine studies/reports – they also receive acclaim in higher traffic websites (such as Google), and popular media outlets.


Google media push to market vaccines

A PubMed report found “industry funded studies were published in more prestigious journals and cited more than other studies independently from methodological quality and size. Studies funded from public sources were significantly less likely to report conclusions favorable to the vaccines. The review showed that reliable evidence on influenza vaccines is thin but there is evidence of widespread manipulation of conclusions and spurious notoriety of the studies.”

Some Things to Consider

One of the arguments of pro-vaxxers is that vaccines are for the greater good and help lessen certain diseases. Perhaps vaccines did some good to an extent, but at what cost? Let us also consider other ways by which health (and the improvement thereof) have been achieved. Back when there were no vaccines, there were also poorer living conditions, more widespread poverty in America, lack of adequate nutrition, poor sanitation measures, and less medical research. Since that time, there have been new inventions that make life easier, thus, prolonging the span and quality of life to an extent.

There have also been other safe remedies discovered to treat common diseases. We find that Scurvy was effectively treated (and mostly eliminated in the US) with high doses of Vitamin C. There are other vitamins, nutrients, minerals, and foods that can facilitate healing and/or help with immunity. Since these advances coincided with the time in which vaccines were introduced, could it be possible that a percentage of disease-elimination was due to the advances and not entirely due to vaccines? Are vaccines getting too much credit? That’s not to say that they are altogether ineffective; but let’s also take the small benefit of them and compare to all of the other information presented. When all things are considered, is the risk of getting vaccines worth the small, non-guaranteed benefit of them? Could they be doing more harm than good? Can we, in clear conscience, inject our bodies with such ingredients?

It is my hope and prayer that this blog has shed light on this highly controversial topic. I also hope that it has brought education, yes, but mostly valuable insight for you and your family in your healthcare decisions. It could be a matter of life and death. Life is sacred, and I take this topic very seriously… will you?

*Feel free to share the link to this blog study with those you love and care about. You may be met with controversy, but there is benefit in a good seed planted. I would also encourage you to view the video and resources linked below. God bless you!

Sources (click to be redirected):,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

The Year-Long Test

~St. Teresa(1)

I am just now completing a year-long test of my faith. I have had other ongoing tests which have lasted for many more years; but this particular year-long test was quite intense and had an impact on me. Let me tell you, a year-long test is no “pop quiz”. It’s gruelling – but moreso, mentally. I have many other first-hand accounts and trials of my faith which I could write about (and hope to in the future, Lord willing). However, this most recent year-long test has showed me some insights that I wish to share with you if you are going through a test of faith.

The Online Test

In 2018, I began doing research into my chronic health issues in an attempt to get answers. I have a whole host of issues going on, but I decided to address the Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Mast Cell Activation Disorder I had been diagnosed with. As I studied online, I looked at possible neurologic causes for my diagnoses. I landed on a website offering a visual contrast sensitivity test. This test could give you insight if you were experiencing any neurologic issues or not. I took the test and failed. Since I had an upcoming doctor’s appointment, I decided to print out my results, on a whim, to see if there may be some straw to grasp at in searching for a cure.

After reviewing my test results, the doctor decided to schedule me to have an MRI on my brain to make certain there wasn’t anything sinister going on. She didn’t much think there would be anything abnormal but wanted to make sure.

The MRI Test

I do not enjoy being in small, closed spaces; nor do I enjoy feeling trapped. But to my surprise, I wasn’t nervous to have this MRI. I can only attribute that to God comforting me. When I got back to the room, I was laid flat on my back and my head was positioned on the table. Then, the technician took a rigid, plastic mask contraption and locked my head into place on the table with a loud “Snap, Snap!” I was offered the drug, Valium, for my nerves if needed, but I declined.

As I entered the enclosed MRI tube with my head bolted to the table beneath me, I kept myself distracted so I wouldn’t get uptight. I found consolation in knowing that this was just a one-time thing – or so I thought.

The Test Results

A few days after my MRI, I got a phone call with the results. I was fully expecting everything to be normal… but it wasn’t.

The nurse told me that my MRI came back abnormal and that the doctor would like to refer me to see an ENT (Ear, Nose, and Throat) Specialist. She didn’t really have much more information to give me, so I hung up with her and called the ENT’s office to schedule my appointment. When I called the ENT’s office, I explained the situation and the receptionist said, “Yes, I see you were referred to us for the Cholesteatoma that was found on your MRI.” I had her repeat herself and asked her what a Cholesteatoma was. She did not know, exactly, but scheduled my appointment.

Immediately, my heart began racing. Since my Mom and Sister have had formal medical training, I had learned quite a bit of medical terminology over the years. I knew the suffix “oma” usually meant a tumor of some sort. Therefore, the word “Cholesteatoma” really alarmed me.

I told my family the news but didn’t want to worry anybody. I initially had a confidence, faith, and inner assurance, somehow. I told them, “God’s got this.”

The Appointments

My baby pic with lump on neck

Mysterious lump appears on my left side as a baby

After I had my appointment with the ENT Specialist, he was, more or less, at a loss. He said that it could be a number of things; namely, a Cholesteatoma or a Petrous Apex Cholesterol Granuloma. He seemed more convinced that it was a Petrous Apex Cholesterol Granuloma (PACG for short) and said that he had very little training on PACG’s. He referred me to a Neurotologist in another city, over one-hundred miles away, since there were only two Neurotologists in our entire state.

The ENT also ran a hearing test on me which seemed to be normal. That was good news since I’d had slight hearing loss as a child due to repeated ear infections and tubes placed in my ears. Incidentally, I was also hospitalized when I was a baby due to a mysterious lump that had appeared behind my left ear. It was never determined what caused the mysterious lump, but it only went away after our Pastor and his wife came to the hospital and prayed for me.

Since my abnormal MRI showed a spot on the left side of my Petrous Apex/Temporal Bone, I wondered if it had something to do with the undiagnosed, mysterious lump I had behind my ear as a baby. All sorts of thoughts raced through my mind. It was so hard for me to wait until my Neurotology appointment to find out what was going on.

The Official Diagnosis

After some time of waiting, the September day in 2018 had finally arrived for my Neurotology appointment. The long, straight road to the appointment made the trip seem even longer and harder. Then, my husband and I ran into construction and a downpour of rain on our drive. Nonetheless, we still arrived quite early to the appointment, so we decided to have lunch downstairs in the hospital cafe.

As we began to eat lunch, a wave of grief and fear overtook me. I began feeling physically unwell and had a difficult time eating due to being so upset. I broke down in uncontrollable tears at the table, with people milling about and staring at me as they walked by. I covered my eyes with my hand and tried to pull myself together. It was all just so hard, and every emotion I’d tried to stave off for the past few months came crashing in on me at that moment. Was I about to get some really bad news? Could it be an aggressive type of tumor? How was all of this going to play out? I had no idea – so, I became afraid.

Being a Christian does not mean that we won’t ever be afraid. Psalm 56:3 says, “What time I am afraid, I will trust in Thee.” So, I put my proverbial “game face” on and pulled myself together for my appointment, by God’s grace.


It was also during this time that I highly suspected I was pregnant – so I desperately wanted a good doctor’s report so that I wouldn’t be facing surgery if I were pregnant. My husband bought me a pregnancy test which I was going to take the morning after this appointment. I saw a pregnant lady on the elevator ride up to my appointment and thought that may be a “sign” of some sort. Nonetheless, I had to put thoughts of pregnancy behind me as I faced this potential life-changing appointment.

After a very long visit with a room full of doctors marvelling at my rare case, the lead doctor came back in to give me the news. She sat down in the chair beside my husband, leaned forward and said to me, “What you have is a Cholesterol Granuloma on the left Petrous Apex.” She continued, “It measures 1cm in size and you will need to be monitored for the rest of your life with MRIs and CT scans every six months. But I’d like you to have them every three months for a year. We just want to make sure it doesn’t grow and start causing problems.” I asked, “How sure are you of your diagnosis?” She said, I am pretty sure… like, 95% sure, or more, that it is a Petrous Apex Cholesterol Granuloma.” 

In her entire practice and training, she had only experienced maybe one or two other patients with a PACG since they are extremely rare. If this proverbial “monster” inside of my head grew, it could cause all sorts of problems, even deafness or other serious neurologic issues. It was growing on the bone, so she assured me it was not near my brain at this point.

Most PACG’s are considered inoperable since they are located in the middle of the head and very near the carotid artery and jugular vein inner workings. However, if surgery is necessary, they are usually only drained and have a high recurrence rate. Surgery can be performed through the nose or by a craniotomy.

As my husband and I left this appointment, we were both a little bit quiet in the car, but my husband’s faith never wavered. As we embarked upon the long drive home, we stopped to pick up some dinner and take a restroom break at a roadside McDonald’s. As if the news of my diagnosis weren’t enough, I discovered that I was bleeding heavily and knew that my perceived pregnancy hopes and dreams were all shattered. I remembered journaling three days before my appointment, “I somehow feel ready [for pregnancy] even though my body isn’t exactly ready.” I calculated the baby’s possible due date and ended my journal entry with the words, “Feeling hopeful.” But now, the hope of pregnancy that brought me happiness was gone; and I had a new, scary diagnosis to top it all off. I cried inconsolably for most of the car ride home. I’m ashamed to say that my previous confidence in God’s healing power began to waver.

The Test Was Positive

BFP 11.26.18 - CopyMy next scheduled MRI was in late 2018 – just two or three months after my Neurotology appointment. During this time, I tried not to focus on my upcoming MRI. But, as the next few weeks passed by, I began to have a sense fo dread overtake me. I didn’t so much dread the MRI itself, as much as I did the prospect of what the updated MRI would reveal.

I felt so alone with such a rare diagnosis, the ongoing MRIs, the perpetual “what if’s” swirling in my mind. I tried to remain positive but I felt a heaviness weighing down on me. Then, I began to feel unwell mentally and physically; moreso than normal. I chalked it up to stress and tried to carry on with my life. Then one night, it dawned on me…

I began thinking about my symptoms and trying to figure out why I was feeling so poorly. As I did some calculating and thinking in the wee hours of the morning, I had the idea that maybe – just maybe – I should take a pregnancy test. I grappled with the idea since my previous pregnancy suspicion a couple of months ago proved to be false. I didn’t want to get my hopes up for them to be dashed again. Also, we had been married nearly 18 years and I was nearing the age of 40 – so I saw the odds stacked against me. Nonetheless, as I thought about it more and more, I decided that I would take the pregnancy test to put my mind to rest, and so I would quit thinking about it.

I remembered that I still had one more pregnancy test stick in the box which my husband purchased a few months prior, so if it were negative, it was no big deal since I wasn’t out any money for another test. Since it was in the wee hours of the morning and my husband was already asleep in bed, I snuck in the bedroom and tried to quietly sort through the drawer with my cell phone light illuminating the drawer contents. I just couldn’t locate the pregnancy test box and didn’t want to wake up my husband by making noise or turning the lamp on. So, I resolved to try again the next day to search for it.

The next day rolled around and I could easily locate the pregnancy test with the daylight sun shining through the window. I took a deep breath and promised myself that I wouldn’t get upset if the test was negative. As I took the test, both of the pink lines on the test stick (indicating pregnancy) started “lighting up” immediately! I stared at the test, thinking maybe I was misreading it – but I knew what it said. I kept covering my mouth saying, “Oh my God”, “Oh my God.” I wasn’t taking God’s name in vain, I was literally saying to him, “Oh, my God” as I whimper-cried and laid my hand on my tummy to pray over my newly discovered pregnancy.

The test was, no doubt, positive for pregnancy!

The rest of the story is too lengthy to tell now – but since I was pregnant, I was now unable to get my MRI. That was fine by me, except now… I would have to wait another long nine months or more before I could be tested again. The unknown is a scary thing. But I knew that God’s timing was perfect, so I tried to forget about this “monster” growing in my head and focus on the blessing who was growing in my womb.

Over a Year Later… The Test Ends

I hope to share my pregnancy story in more detail at some point, but our precious baby girl was born on July 19, 2019. After adjusting to having a newborn and all, I needed to get my MRI and CT scan rescheduled, after being long overdue for testing. Towards the end of October 2019, I had a CT scan on my head. As I awaited the results, I felt myself becoming burdened with the stress of it, once again.

My husband and mom kept telling me that God was going to heal me. I also know that my dad, sister, extended family, and friends were all praying in faith for my healing, also. It comforted me that so many people were praying for me and I am so blessed by that. Nonetheless, when my mom or husband would tell me that God was healing me, I thought they were simply saying that since they were in denial. It’s a hard truth to accept such a scary and unknown diagnosis, so I wouldn’t have blamed them; but no, it wasn’t denial – they truly believed in God’s healing power. I must admit, I was doubtful that I would be healed, however, I still had a small seed of hope within my heart. That’s all God asks for; a mustard seed size of faith. I prayed that God would heal me even when it was hard for me to believe.

The imaging facility technician called me after my CT scan and asked if I could send them my previous MRI since the Radiologist wanted to compare it to my current images. She said, “The Radiologist found a mass on your most recent CT scan.” Right then, my heart dropped. She didn’t give the mass a formal name, but I just knew it was the same old thing… Petrous Apex Cholesterol Granuloma.

As the days passed and my patience began wearing thin, stress began setting in even deeper. But, I had to be patient. Pregnancy forced me to be patient and now, awaiting these test results did also. James 1:4 says, But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. God was teaching me patience and he still is.

Then, as I was casually checking my e-mails, I get this report from my doctor:

“I have reviewed your recent CT scan. It was normal. The area of previous concern correlates with bone marrow on this exam and there is no abnormality. There is no need for further testing.”

~St. Teresa(2)

Click to enlarge

The burden was lifted and God had healed me!!

I covered my mouth with my hands and cried tears of joy! I embraced my husband and we rejoiced together quietly with smiles and hugs as our precious baby slept peacefully in her bassinet.

Some may be skeptical of my healing, but I’m not. I have seen God’s healing at work before, so I know his abilities go beyond what we can imagine. Just as with my perceived pregnancy hopes being killed then resurrected shortly thereafter — my hopes of healing were killed yet miraculously resurrected. Christ died and was resurrected; likewise, those who die in Christ will be gloriously resurrected. God revives!

When there is a dead end road, God makes a path. When Moses was backed up to the Red Sea with no escape, God parted the waters. “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you” (Isaiah 43:2). 

God’s word says: There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it (1st Corinthians 10:13).

~St. Teresa

Look what God can do in just a year’s time! I am overcome with gratitude – this is such a huge burden lifted off of my shoulders. I don’t have to live the rest of my life getting MRIs with my head is bolted to a table! God spared me of this. He knew it was wearying me and weighing heavy on me. “It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not” (Lamentations 3:22). The 56th Psalm says that God sees it all… our tossings and turnings, he has taken account of; and he bottles our tears. Are they not all recorded in his book? 

When we feel that his face is hidden and he seems a million miles away – perhaps, he is hard at work in our hearts and on our behalf. Revivalist, Leonard Ravenhill, put it like this: “There are times when God will withdraw himself and make you feel as though you are dropping into the nethermost hell. He’ll leave you alone to see if you’re going to struggle after his anointing or you’re going to go on in your own eloquence and ability.”

God has truly blessed me. No, my life isn’t picture perfect. I still deal with a lot of health issues and I am often anxious. I fail, I cry, I will likely face more tests, and I am still a work in progress. But I do want to give God all the glory for who he is and proclaim his limitless power! For all he’s done for me – I just have to testify!


Rest assured, God is Almighty and he may choose to utilize healing for his glory – or he may delay healing for reasons known ultimately by him. Nonetheless, at the end of the day, we can all rejoice as his children, knowing of his power and that he will make all things right in the end, whether here or in Glory. Never lose hope in God!



Are You Tired?

“My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever.”  ~Psalm 73.26

Are you tired? How, exactly, are you tired?

There can be a weariness in the physical body or even in the emotions or spirit. We are made in the image of God and are triune beings. Just as God is comprised of the three persons of the Trinity (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit); we are, essentially, made up of three parts (Mind, Body, and Spirit). If one of the parts of an indivudual are lacking, it puts a greater burden on the other two parts to compensate. For example, if the physical body is unwell – the mind and Spirit have to work harder to maintain peace, calmness, hope, etc.. Whether you are tired in your mind, body, or Spirit – there is hope in Christ!

Physical Exhaustion

“And he said unto me, ‘My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2nd Corinthians 12:9

SrqThe Bible teaches that it’s most important to keep the Spirit strong. Proverbs 18:14 states: “The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; but a wounded spirit who can bear? In other words, the human spirit within us can endure a sick body, but who can bear a crushed spirit? Therefore, we find it is of utmost importance to keep the spirit within us strengthened through the Word of God, worship, and prayer. Still, there are times when the body, namely, becomes so weary that it makes life very challenging.

For those of you who have followed this blog for a while, you may recall that I have spoken (at times) about my chronic health issues. I know there are many fellow-Christians who also deal with ongoing health conditions; and I wish to encourage you. I would like to share a poetic prayer I wrote about three years ago. Please, feel free to adopt it as your prayer if it resonates with you.

A Prayer For the Weak in Body // by: Maranda M.

I don’t want negative attention; that’s not who I am

Because I strive to be positive and do the best that I can

I want to be a ray of sunshine and not a dark, gloomy cloud

But my mind and my body shouts so obnoxiously loud

It cares not about my desires or my scheduled plans

It only fights viciously, daily, to gain the upper-hand

Oft times I must rest when I would much rather go

Which causes discouragement that only God and I know

It hurts deeply to be only a shell of my former being

When I have so much left to give, yet unable to bring

It’s like having a melody but the strings are all broken

Or having a song with the words left unspoken

It’s not by choice or out of a lazy mindset at all

In fact, the drive for life remains; yet, I always hit a wall

The “wall” is called fatigue and being chronically unwell

With hopes in my heart, imprisoned in each tired cell

The weariness, oh the weariness – words cannot describe

Thankful for life, yet a deep longing to even feel alive

Survival-mode is meant as a temporary means

But it is my life, thus, the fatigue that it brings

Does anyone know the effort and the strength that it takes?

To even shower or leave the house; oh, the efforts I make

But don’t get me wrong, I’m a very grateful soul

God is faithful to walk beside me with each hard-hitting blow

I am thankful I have Him, and that is enough

But please understand, I can’t live off the cuff

I am tired always and muddle through as I can

Upon awaking, I think, “Was that a marathon I just ran?”

I’ve tried remedies and vitamins like you wouldn’t believe

Striving, fighting, grasping for some ounce of relief

Maybe one day, I can be who I fully wish to be

Until then, I am relegated to be this altered version of me

Compassionate love and understanding goes a long way

Amidst fatigue and all, we still have love at the end of the day

My prayer is for healing, but only in God’s Will

His timing, His reasonings – I must accept, still

God’s Son suffered as did many of the saints

But the Lord sustains mercifully as, for him, I await

Dear Lord, while I tarry, please strengthen my soul

For this weary lot in life has truly taken its toll

Yet amidst the weakness, I have found my home

It is to dwell in Your presence where I am never alone

Whether here or in Glory, ‘til this burden is lifted

‘Til the tears are dried and the healing is gifted

I ask that You stay with me until that day arrives

I know that I need You in order to survive

Thank you for the joys and respites along this path

I feel the touch of Your hand – I honestly have!

I cannot summarize or articulate the point of my words

I guess all I am asking is for my feeble voice to be heard…

A Tired Mind and Spirit

“The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace.” ~Psalm 29.11

chsThere is so much to think about… truly! We have responsibilities, deadlines, appointments, troubles, unplanned setbacks, decisions, and so much more on our minds often. There is not a day goes by that the mind is not engaged to some degree. After a while, life can get mentally and emotionally exhausting. We can become heavy-laden with all the cares of this life. But the Lord instructs us to come to him. “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matt. 11:28).

As the Missionary, James Hudson Taylor, once said: “To every toiling, heavy-laden sinner, Jesus says, ‘Come to me and rest’. But there are many toiling, heavy-laden believers, too. For them this same invitation is meant. Note well the words of Jesus, if you are heavy-laden with your service, and do not mistake it. It is not, ‘Go, labour on,’ as perhaps you imagine. On the contrary, it is stop, turn back, ‘Come to me and rest.’ Never, never did Christ send a heavy-laden one to work; never, never did He send a hungry one, a weary one, a sick or sorrowing one, away on any service. For such the Bible only says, ‘Come, come, come.'”

In the mid-late 1800s, Charles H. Spurgeon preached the message, “Weak Hands and Feeble Knees”. It speaks to all types of weariness and offers amazing hope – even today! The message is timeless. I have spliced together some of the high points of the sermon below:

Weak Hands and Feeble Knees // by Rev. C.H. Spurgeon

“Strengthen ye the weak hands and confirm the feeble knees.” ~Isaiah 35:3

iss“In all flocks there must be lambs, and weak and wounded sheep; and among the flock of men, it seems that there must necessarily be some who should more than others prove the truth of Job’s declaration, ‘man is born to trouble even as the sparks fly upwards.’ It is the duty then of those of us who are more free than others from despondency of spirit, to be very tender to these weak ones…

Although religion changes the moral temperament of men, it does not change the physical. A man who is weak in health before conversion will probably be as weak afterwards, and many a spirit that has a tendency to despondency, has exhibited that tendency after conversion. We do not profess that the religion of Christ will so thoroughly change a man as to take away from him all his natural tendencies; it will give the despairing something that will alleviate that despondency, but as long as that is caused by a low state of body, or a diseased mind, we do not profess that the religion of Christ will totally remove it…

Hence, then, if the knees be weak and the hands be weak, it is little that we can do. We cannot run with the weak knee; we cannot labor with the weak hand. How can ye, the servants of Christ, how can ye lift the heavy burdens which ye have to carry, if your hands be weak and your knees totter? Look well, then, to this, for herein ye suffer exceeding loss; if in active service ye lose power and strength….

He would believe in God, but he cannot appropriate the promise. He would lay hold of the angel, but all his sinews shrink, and he cannot wrestle. He would plead the promise, but his hand refuses to clutch it with an iron grasp. And he goes away crying, ‘Oh that I could pray! oh that I could believe in God! oh that I could succeed with God in prayer, and become as a prevailing prince. Alas! I am as weak as water, and I can do nothing.’ Herein lies the importance of having a strong hand that we may serve God, and of having a strong knee that we may wrestle with him in prayer, and get the blessing from him…

Once we could run along the walls of salvation with triumphant faith; at other times we could walk even through the valley of the shadow of death with quiet confidence: but we have come to a place of trial and of extraordinary difficulty, where all speed failed us, and strength did not suffice…

If your knees are feeble, serve God the best you can with them; if your hands hang down, then do the best you can with the hands hanging down, and pray God to strengthen them, until you become mighty, and then you will be able to do more. But do something every one of you… Above all, cry for the Holy Spirit to strengthen you, for without him all is vain.”

Helpful Scriptures

“But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” ~Isaiah 40:31

“…for the joy of the LORD is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10

“Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” ~Isaiah 41:10

“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” ~Philippians 4:13

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” ~Isaiah 40:29

“But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one.” ~2nd Thessalonians 3:3

“Seek the LORD and his strength, seek his face continually.” ~1st Chronicles 16:11

“‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty.”  ~Zechariah 4:6

“And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” ~Galatians 6:9


Afraid to Pray for God’s Will?

“…Thy Will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.” ~Matthew 6:10

lpDo you want your prayers to be effective? Did you know that Jesus left us instructions for effective praying in the Bible? We find “The Lord’s Prayer”, in Matthew chapter 6. Jesus went into detail in explaining how to pray and basic guidelines of what to pray for. I covered my thoughts on the Lord’s Prayer in a previous blog – but I wanted to hone in on one aspect of this prayer today.

One very notable sentence in the Lord’s Prayer is in verse 10. Jesus prayed for God’s Will to be done in earth as it is done in heaven; and instructed us to pray in like manner. However, I have found that many Christians are hesitant to pray for God’s Will. Why? I think it is because of the fear that God’s Will will so vastly differ from ours. I, too, used to be a bit apprehensive of praying for God’s Will – that is, until I saw that he has my best interest at heart. Scripture says in James 1:17 that “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.” I have a couple of personal examples I would like to share in regards to praying for God’s Will.

Firstly, I recall a time when I prayed for God’s Will with tears in my eyes. I’ll admit, it was hard to pray for his Will – but when I saw the results of praying that way, my fear subsided and I felt immense comfort. The time I am referencing happened about five or more years ago. My dear Great-Aunt whom I am so very close to was hospitalized. Not only was she very sick, but she was well into her 80’s, had already endured a heart attack, and only had one kidney. All odds were stacked against her. As she continued ailing, the doctor’s began discussing dialysis since they believed her one and only kidney was beginning to fail. Truthfully, it looked like the end.

After receiving this devastating news, I had planned on visiting her in the hospital. I decided, beforehand, to purchase the family breakfast before going to see her; knowing it would likely be a long day and we may not have an opportunity to eat lunch. As I drove alone, I remember praying aloud to God. Of course, I prayed for my heart’s desire – for her to recover. Then, I prayed these words, “Lord, I don’t know your Will. I don’t want you to take her, but if that is your Will then… then, I will accept it, as hard as it is. But if it is your Will to heal her here, Lord, please let it be done swiftly.” It was only a few hours later that her health made a major turnaournd! Her numbers began improving and she began to regain her strength. She was released from the hospital shortly thereafter and was back to normal within a very short time! I prayed for God’s Will – and it was done! To God be all the glory!

Additionally, I have another testimony of how praying God’s Will does not have to be a scary thing. You see, my husband and I were married in 2001. All of these years later, we still did not have any children. I deal with chronic health concerns and was always told that it would be such a high risk for me to become pregnant. But as the years passed by, I knew that my window of opportunity to have a child or children was coming to a close. To be honest, I wasn’t even sure that it could happen due to health factors. Nonetheless, my husband and I decided to leave it in God’s hands. We decided that if God chose for us to remain childless, that was okay. But, if God chose to bless us with a child, we would be open to his Will.

Needless to say, after nearly 18 years of marriage, I am currently expecting for the very first time! Our baby girl is due in the Summer of 2019. Again, once we decided to pray for God’s Will – it was done; and it was a tremendous blessing! Admittedly, I was terrified at first and even fell into a short bout of extreme depression. I had one doctor even advise that I abort due to my health. But one day, I prayed with all the courage I had in my heart and asked God to let his Will be done in my pregnancy and to give me the strength I didn’t have on my own. Now, here I am in my second trimester and everything is looking great with the baby and me, praise God!


Even If

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” ~Romans 8:28

I would be remiss if I said that praying God’s Will only brings the results we feel are best. But, we must remember that our Father knows best even if we don’t understand. Let’s look at a couple of examples, beginning with the example of Jesus.

Right before the time of his crucifixion, he was praying to his Father in heaven. He was very sorrowful and heavy as he fell on his face and cried out these words in prayer… “O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt (Matt. 26:39). We see by this example that, yes, it is good to make our requests known to God, whole-heartedly and boldly; but, we also see that it is good to hold our requests lighter than our desire to be in God’s Will.

csEven in such a trying time, Jesus was able to pray for God’s Will. How was he able to do this if God’s Will was for him to suffer through the crucifixion? Because – for the joy set before him, he endured the cross (see Heb. 12:2). He simply endured it, because it certainly was not enjoyable. It cost him his life – he was put to on open shame; yet, it was God’s will for this to happen (see Is. 53:10). But now, look at the amazing joy set before him which he has inherited! He is seated at the right hand of God, the Father – angels, authorities, and powers are now subject to him. There’s not a crown without a cross – and we can be sure of this; when God asks us to endure a “cross”, he will always abundantly reward our obedience to his Will. These blessings will far surpass our sufferings. You see, our momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all… so, we (like Jesus) endure (see 2nd Cor. 4:17).

An additional example we find in scripture is the account of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. We find this account in the book of Daniel, chapter 3. These three men boldly stood against King Nebuchadnezzar’s decree to worship the golden image which had been set up. This sparked rage and fury in King Nebuchadnezzar and he commanded that these three be thrown into a fiery furnace. Here was their reply…

“If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king. But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up.”

You see, they knew God’s abilities were limitless to deliver them; still, they resigned themselves to God’s Will; in essence stating, “Even if he chooses otherwise, we still will not bend our beliefs.” Even though, yes, they were thrown into the fiery furnace – it was so that God could show his power in an even stronger way. For, you see – even though they were bound and thrown into the flames, something miraculous happened.

King Nebuchadnezzar was astonished at what he saw and said, “I see four men loose, walking in the midst of the fire, and they have no hurt; and the form of the fourth is like the Son of God!” He then called for them to come to him. When they did, everyone saw that the fire had no effect on their bodies; not even a hair was singed, and they had no scent of the smoke and flames upon them! By this, we can learn that even if God’s Will differs from ours, he will somehow make all things work together for the good – whether in this life or in the one to come.

Comfort in God’s Will

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”  ~Jeremiah 29:11

serenityEven in the times we pray for God’s Will and things do not turn out as we had hoped, still, our heavenly Father knows best. His plans for us are for good and not evil (see Jer. 29:11). Should things in this life not align with our plans, we can rest assured that God will set all things right in the end (see Rev. 21:4, 5).

Another comfort is this: the Spirit is always interceding to God on our behalf. Romans 8:26-27 reflects this very thing. It states: “Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.”

You see, if we trust God with our eternal soul which is most sacred, we can surely trust his Will for our lives here. Since his Will is done in heaven, as the Lord’s Prayer reflects, why wouldn’t we want that same “heavenly” order here in our lives? There are no negative requests in the Lord’s prayer. All of the requests are for good; things such as praying for his kingdom to come, praying for his Will to be done, praying for blessed daily bread, praying for forgiveness, and praying for deliverance from evil. So, praying for God’s Will is actually a good thing, a positive thing. Always remember, God is on our side (see Ps. 56:9). As Romans 8:31 states: “If God be for us, who can be against us?” His Will is for our good – He is for us, not against us.



Waiting on Your Table

“Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies…” ~Psalm 23: 5

One night, I found myself in a crowded assembly. Amongst the people, there were workers assigned to morally test random guests in the crowd. A worker came up to me and interviewed me briefly in front of the crowd, for all to hear. I refused to bend my morals or deny my faith. Because of this, I was quickly taken out of the assembly and ushered downstairs, into a cave-like dungeon.

This dungeon was other-worldly. It seemed to have such an evil aura about it that it felt very tormenting. As I was forced within, I saw three other Christians sitting on the cold, concrete dungeon bench – awaiting certain torture. I was the fourth and final Christian amongst that large assembly. It’s true, there were only four of us who took a stand and had genuine faith.

Text placeholderAs I was seated next to the other Christians, it seemed that the demons within this dungeon were loosed to do with us as they pleased. There was an evil ringleader, of sorts, and his demonic workers who carried out his wishes. These were not people; they were very large, ugly, overtly evil spirits. If any of us dare to fight back or escape, we were quickly put back in place with threats, swords, and buckets of boiling water being poured toward us.

The doors were sealed and it was time for the torture to begin. The first person on the bench they chose to torture was a young girl. She was maybe around 10 to 12 years of age. It was unthinkable the acts they carried out on her. I had never witnessed such an open display of evil torture. The magnitude to which they tortured her was beyond what I thought she could survive. I looked on in shock and horror with tears in my eyes. I prayed to God, “Please, make it stop! Please, make it stop!”  As they slung her around like a rag doll, she laid unconscious on the ground, with only her chest barely moving as she struggled to breathe.

They left her lying there as the evil leader turned toward those of us remaining. All of us had an immense sense of dread. We saw no hope of escape or of avoiding such torture as we’d just witnessed. If only we would deny our faith, they would have let us go free; but would we have truly been free? Would not our conscience scream loudly at us if we were to sin so gravely against our Lord by denying him? And what type of freedom can evil offer? Freedom to sin? Freedom to drive the soul deeper and deeper into the perditions of hell? The false freedom would be fleeting. It may be joyous for a moment, but in the end, it would bite like a venomous viper. No, denying our Lord was not an option for any of us – so we felt there was no escape.

As a last-ditch effort to survive, I began saying the name of Jesus aloud. I repeated my Lord’s precious name over and over, knowing that, at his name, every knee must bow (see Phil. 2:10). But I was only saying it to save my own skin – it did not carry the weight it should have as I spoke his precious name. As it is now, evil persists and dares to defy his holy name; even using it in vain. Make no mistake, evil will be punished and all will bow at his name.

As I robotically repeated the name of Jesus aloud, I began noticing the leader and his demons taunting me. They would make fun of me and weren’t really all that phased by my repetitions. I was baffled as they were repeating his name by mocking me. But there was one thing I knew they could not do – and that was to PRAISE his name. Maybe they could speak his name in vain, but they could never truly praise his name as I could.

So, instead of just saying the name of Jesus robotically, I began to earnestly PRAISE the name of Jesus. As I began praising him with my whole heart, the evil spirits began to cringe a bit. Then, the other Christians sitting on the bench with me also began praising the name of Jesus. We all stood, with hands raised heavenward and loudly proclaimed heartfelt praises to our Lord. The evil spirits not only began to cringe, but they began to back up as if they wanted to run away from us. They tried their hardest to remain superior and not allow us to defeat them. They were fighting with all they had to resist us and to quieten us, but to no avail. As we continued, these evil spirits began to crumple to the ground. This left us an opportunity to escape out of this dungeon.

As we all triumphantly left that place of torment, we helped the tortured young girl out with us. She had recovered enough where she could march out of that dungeon too! It would have been enough for us to have just escaped that hell, but God had even greater plans.

As we all walked out, we entered an exquisite dining hall. There were several beautiful, marble tables within and chairs. Instinctively, we all knew to take our rightful seats at the table. After we were all comfortably seated, the rest of the assembly was ushered in and lined up against the wall to our left. We looked on in silence as they all filed in. No one spoke as it was a very solemn scene.

A preacher man stood before us all and said, “Those of you who are seated at the tables in the dining hall – well done.” He then turned to address the assembly. “As for those of you who stayed with the crowd, you have made the easier choice but it was the wrong choice. Many of you even profess to be a Christian, but your heart is far from the Lord. You won’t walk the narrow path that leads to life. You won’t stand against evil. You are passive and not firm in your beliefs. You have wavered and have been tossed to and fro with every wind, with every popular worldly opinion. I am sad and exceedingly regretful that you have not chosen life.”

After the preacher man concluded speaking, the crowd was led into the dungeon; although they had no such hope of escape as us few Christians had. They had no one to turn to, no out, no plan, no aid, no support, no second chance, no hope – just a harsh realization of what rightfully awaited them. The wishy-washy person who seemed moral met the same demise as the openly evil person – eternal death without the Savior. Once a person’s life is over, their fate is sealed. If a person denies the Lord openly in word, or quietly in deed – both will land in the same dungeon of hell (see Matt. 10:33). This crowd had chosen to take the broad road that was far more comfortable to them while on this journey of life. However, the broad load only led them to destruction (see Matt. 7:13).

As the crowd departed, my eyes amazed me. The same evil leader and demons in the dungeon were hidden behind the crowd, but now revealed. They were the motivation for the crowd’s stubbornness, complacency, and sin. But now, these evil spirits were pinned against the wall with their heads hung in defeat. They looked so small and powerless, like a malnourished specimen of dejected flesh just standing there. God had put them in their rightful place of shame. They were forced to stand there and watch as the four of us Christians were served a banquet dinner, fit for royalty.

_Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies..._As our tables were being prepared with this feast, it dawned on me. The weight of my realization was so strong that I spoke it loudly and triumphantly, “Thou, God, has prepared a table before me in the presence of mine enemies!!!!” This familiar scripture from the 23rd Psalm made my heart feel whole. Every hurt or bad memory was instantly healed with a soothing balm or warm honey, as it were. I felt vindicated and I felt like God had the last word of revenge toward the evil spirits who tried to destroy and get us off course.

In the end, the Christian will triumph. At times, it may seem like we go through more than our share of hardships or torments; but the enemy is only trying to weary the saints – that’s all (see Dan. 7:25). He tries to hit us with repeated blows in a feeble attempt to get revenge on our Lord through us. Evil hates us because we look like Jesus. But we cannot be destroyed at a soul-level without consent. God is able to keep us from falling and with every temptation, he provides that way of escape so that we are not tempted to the point of sinning and losing our faith altogether (see Jude 1:24 & 1st Cor. 10:13).  We may be troubled on every had, but we’re not distressed. We may be perplexed, but we’re not in despair. We may be persecuted, but we’re not forsaken. We may even be cast down, but we are not destroyed (see 2nd Cor. 4:8-9). In the end, God will have the final word.

In the meantime, we are simply waiting on our table… that table that God will prepare before us in the presence of our enemies. He may even give us a foretaste of that vindication and victory in this life; but if that never comes, rest assured that it will. Although hunger sets in and it’s hard to wait – we keep relying on God as he’s preparing our table. The table is indicative of our victory – and victory will be so sweet and well worth the wait! Stay strong, dear Christian, while you’re waiting on your table.


Why Are Many Churches Powerless?

Preface: Today, I am pleased to introduce you to my Christian friend and Guest Blogger, Francesca Lopez. For over 30 years, she has travailed for the Body of Christ, feeling the Father’s heart. It is her prayer that the church repents and begins to walk in holiness. Please take what you read to heart and keep upholding the churches in prayer.

“Why Are Many Churches Powerless?” By: Francesca Lopez

1awWhy is the church powerless, dead and dry?

Time constraints are put on worship, ministry and prayer just to appease the crowd, when it’s the most important thing. Things are made so complicated when all that needs to happen is complete surrender to the move of the Holy Spirit and allowing Him to move as He pleases with no reservation or restrictions.

Sin is no longer being called sin from the pulpit. So much hypocrisy goes on in the church. Pastors are no longer teaching the people to walk in holiness and righteousness nor taught the fear of the Lord. Church is so set on routine, functions, conferences, church cliques, and a superficial love instead of walking in true love and concern for one another. The people feel disconnected and not ministered to. Leaders want members in the church solely to fill the seats and to attend every function, every service, every get-together. Jealousies among leaders and fellow believers. Compromising and condoning sin instead of bringing correction so not to offend anyone or cause friction. Excusing the character for the gifts and talents. Placing individuals who are walking in sin in positions of leadership, teaching, or leading worship just to fill a position or just because they are part of the so-called inner circle of friends.

If my spirit is grieved, how much more the Spirit of God? How can the Holy Spirit move in this type of atmosphere? Some churches don’t even allow the Holy Spirit to take full control nor know how to truly worship in spirit and in truth. Worship has become entertainment and a performance. Stages have taken the place of altars. The world is so hungry for the things of the Spirit and a move of God but there is no bread in the house, only crumbs.

The church has nothing to offer them that will impact and change their lives. The church has become so fat, dead, and powerless that it has forgotten its purpose – to reach the lost and brokenhearted with the love of the Father and the power of the Holy Spirit. We are to be filled and equipped, when in our prayer closets, so that we can impact and transform the world by being poured out to a lost and dying world in the fullness and power of the Holy Spirit.

“If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.” ~2nd Chronicles 7:14


I echo what Francesca wrote in this blog and feel the same grief over the churches. Please see my post on this, “Pseudo-Christianity Will Not Stand” by clicking HERE Also, another blog, “The State of the Pulpit and Christianity” can be read HERE. Thank you for reading.




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God CAN Heal!

*For this month’s blog entry, it is my honor to welcome back my friend and guest blogger, Jennifer Dunn. Please be inspired by her words…

“God CAN Heal!” By Guest Blogger: Jennifer Dunn

I was so deceived by the Word of Faith movement, for years.

I prayed and prayed – did the “name it and claim it” like they said to do; but, no healing came. It made me feel so miserable. It made me feel like either I’m doing something wrong or God must not love me. So, I gave up on believing for healing.

ibIt took me a long time to realize that I don’t have to beg God to heal me. I realized that IF it’s His will to heal me, I must walk in faith believing, not that He WILL, as the Word of Faith people say; but simply that He CAN. This means that I will believe in the scriptures about healing, speak them over myself, and then simply say to God “I trust You for healing, Lord, should it be Your will. I trust in Your timing, Lord, for I know that Your timing is always perfect”.

This is what I want for others to know… They do not have to beg for healing, and end up disappointed when/if it doesn’t happen. I simply want us to believe that healing is possible, and to pray like it’s possible! Curse your sicknesses and speak healing over your body without it having to mean that suddenly you’re 100% healthy. Much like people with visible physical deformities; we see them with a smile on their face. They are smiling in spite of their deformity. It’s as if they are saying, “Ilness, devil, you WON’T get the best of me! You won’t beat me down so that I succumb to misery! You won’t defeat me!” They know they have a deformity, but they live as if they didn’t. It’s not that they deny the deformity exists; but they don’t let it define them.

Sickness and physical problems, have a way of consuming us and of making us so focused on them; it’s like they become our identity. That’s exactly what the devil wants, because it takes our eyes off of Jesus. We don’t deny the “thorns” in our flesh, but we don’t give them the power to define us or consume us.

Be encouraged to rise above and shine so bright with the loving light of Christ! Our ailments have no power to define us! Because of Christ in us, no impairments can hold us back! “For my strength is made perfect in weakness…” (2nd Cor. 12:9).


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